Saturday, 31 October 2015

The end.

Last night I dreamt I had a shotgun and had walked into a room and I randomly started shooting people dead. After I had cleared the room of anyone living, I heard the police outside, shouted I was surrounded and there was no escape. 

I excepted this by putting down my gun and I started to walk out. As I did, two police officers in plan clothes approached me. I put both my arms into the air to indicate I was surrendering. They both ran up to me, grabbed an arm each and proceeded to usher me out of the building. 

They covered me with their own bodies and continued to push me away, going past all of the armed officers that had their guns aimed at the building I'd exited from. The two men kept ushering me away and when we were clear of the police, they stopped and I noticed they were two of my mates and they had rescued me. 

To celebrate my escape from the law we all three climbed into a rollercoaster ride, I was in the middle, flanked either side by my mates. The car we were in slowly raised up and we reached the highest point. Just before we plummeted, I closed my eyes, it felt as if I was floating as we dropped. 

I then felt a heavy thud hit my chest and my mate to my right said, "A sniper has hit him". I then knew I was dead and couldn't open my eyes. I gently and silently floated in total darkness somewhat at peace with the World. 


Friday, 30 October 2015

Michael Palin & the invisible bus

Along with my wife, we were on a London double decker bus, I was the driver and my wife sat just behind me. It was slightly different from most buses, in that it was invisible, so basically all that could be seen was the two of us floating through the air and me pretending to steer. 

We decided we wanted to eat and so I parked the bus near some trees next to a picnic area. It was dark and we climbed down and headed over to a picnic bench. There was a man and a small Asian boy sat at the bench and we sat next to them. 

The man was former Monty Python legend, Michael Palin and the boy was having a party while his mum was out. I looked up and saw that we were now in a house. The boys home arrived home and was very angry that we were all in her house. 

I gave my wife a nod and we both climbed onto the invisible bus and drove away. As we pulled off along the street I noticed Michael Palin was on the lower deck. 


Thursday, 29 October 2015

Pig tornado

My wife and myself were walking out in our garden when she happen to causally mention that there had been a tornado hit the village the previous night.

I looked up towards where our guinea pigs house is and could only see the complete devastation of what used to be their wooden accommodation.

I ran over the a pile of broken wood and found the part that they sleep in was all that remained.

I opened the top and found them both alive and well. They sqeeked and jumped up happy to see me.


Wednesday, 28 October 2015


I simply woke up and shouted 'Spiders!' I could feel them crawling over my bottom. 
It wasn't until later this year day that my wife confessed to tickling me in the night! 


Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Hand bike

I was on a push bike riding along a brightly lit sunny street, there were many parked cars but no moving traffic. I was peddling very slowly and appeared in no particular rush to get anywhere. 
As I took in my surroundings, a small boy rode up alongside me on his bike. 

The boy was around ten years of age and his bike had red wheels with the Manchester United football team logo in the centre of the wheel. I immediately increased my pace to get ahead of the boy. As I tried to peddle faster, my legs felt like lead as if trying to run through thick mud. 

The boy easily caught up with me and was mocking me. The harder I tried to peddle, the more difficult it was to move my legs. I then decided to spin my handlebars as if they were peddles and began rotating them as fast as I could. 

This propelled me faster and ahead of the boy but I soon came to a halt as the resistance became so tight that I couldn't move the handlebars any more. I looked down at my hands and with each turn that I had made, green tape had wrapped around the handlebars causing them to get tied up. 

The tape I noticed was that used for temporary fencing in fields to keep horses contained and have an electric charge going through them. As I stared at the woven mess on my bike, the boy cycled past me laughing. 


Monday, 26 October 2015

Man baby

Having spent the day with a heavily pregnant friend yesterday, this has transferred into my dream last night. Basically, I was pregnant, about to drop pregnant. 

I was wandling around like a penguin and of course, as a man, everything was far worse. I held my stomach and moaned a lot and huffed and puffed when people didn't get out of my way.  


Sunday, 25 October 2015

The Jam

I had been given a new job and was on my first day. I was sat at the head of a large table with around ten others, all of which were looking at me for direction. I pushed a button on a remote control and put the TV on. A woman sat nearest to me complained. I shot her down and told her to shut up, she got up and ran out crying. 

Next I was driving around in my car and my friend and colleague Lee Ann was sat in the passenger seat. Lee Ann was in her pyjamas. We pulled up at a small shop and both walked inside, I found a vinyl record of The Jam. I was very excited and then saw a cassette of the same album. 

I asked Lee Ann if our my car played vinyl or cassette, she popped out to check and while she was outside I stole the cassette version of the album. I left the shop only to discover Lee Ann had driven off in my car! 



Saturday, 24 October 2015


I was dreaming that I was at work but starring in a documentary about my work with a film crew following me around. I was unhappy as I felt a little unwell and wasn't in the mood for work. 

As I was coming to the end of my shift I was told that someone had given me cocaine without my knowledge. Really angry at this news I started to feel really dizzy and squatted down to hang onto a low brick wall. As I grabbed the top of the wall to steady myself, it collapsed and I was covered in bricks. 

As I lay there spaced out and in pain from the wall on top of me, my dog Humbug clambered over the rubble and started licking my face. I then felt the bricks suddenly fly off of me all at once leaving me feeling cold. Humbug was still on top of me. 

This was the point that I woke up to find Humbug still on top of me and my wife had pulled the quilt off the bed to inform me that Humbug needed the toilet!  


Friday, 23 October 2015

Baked beans extra.

I was standing outside of a cafe in a busy street. The cafe was closed and I was waiting for it to open to get breakfast, with me was work colleague, Gav. We were discussing what we were going to eat when a waitress opened the door, suddenly there was a rush of people heading into the cafe. 

I jostled my way to a table and the waitress approached me. I asked her for two slices of toast with a fried egg on each and some baked beans as extra around the sides but not on the toast. As she wrote my exact requirements down, someone placed a plate on the table with a full English fried breakfast on it. 

Gav started laughing and said, "Why eye man, looks like your having that then". The waitress shrugged her shoulders and walked off. 


Thursday, 22 October 2015

Boobs, cars & alarms

The initial part of my dream involved two females with bare breasts, it was very pleasurable but I'm not going to elaborate further. 

I was driving my car on a village road, it looked like a mixture between where I live and a neighbouring village, it had aspects from both. I turned into a small industrial unit, it was dark and I was surprised to see the door open to one of the units. 

I walked in and found a friends Dad, Mick standing at a workbench chatting to another guy. Mick had on a pair of blue overalls. He looked up when he saw me and asked what I was doing there. I told him I'd come to clean the place up. 

Mick then started to ask me about the brakes on my car and mentioned brand names and other words I'd never heard of. I just shrugged my shoulders and began cleaning up. 

I was then walking my dog, Humbug on his lead. We entered a cafe and there was a long counter that had lots of hot cooked food. I approached the counter and a very loud siren went off and everyone in the cafe looked around to see where it was coming from. 

I was pulled abruptly from my dream by my wife's alarm going off to get her up for work. 


Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Union of the snake

No idea why but I could hear the 1983 song, 'Union of the snake', by Duran Duran as I slept. I was looking at a woman's face as I heard the song too. She had dark permed hair and was smiling. 

I woke up and walked downstairs singing it and it wasn't until I got half way down that I realised the dream was over! 


Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Dry cleaning

I was heading towards a shop to collect my dry cleaning. The shop was next to a cafe that had outside seating. I entered the dry cleaners and it appeared to be a delicatessen that was very run down. Behind the counter were about 10 members of staff. 

I was handed my dry cleaners in a big bundle covered in a white sheet. I was charged £70 and I placed it onto a table. When I unwrapped it, it was full of plastic spoons. 


Monday, 19 October 2015

Late night reading

I was reading a book which is something I normally struggle with due to various reasons. In my dream however I was effortlessly gliding through the pages at a phynominal rate. As I drew towards the conclusion of the story I decided that it would be a good idea to transfer the book into my phone. 

I then started to physically type the story into my notes app on my phone where I usually write reminders for my dreams. I drifted off to sleep whilst doing this and when I woke up this morning, my notes app was empty. 


Sunday, 18 October 2015

Fake dollars & fights

I was at work and it was 4.30pm, I was due to finish at 5pm but was going on holiday so my mind wasn't on work. My supervisor Adam came out of his office and asked me why I was still here, I didn't need telling twice. I scooped up my stuff and headed for the door. 

I exited the room and when I walked through the door to what should have been outside, I was back in work again. I attempted this several more times, each occasion, placing me back in the office. Adam came out of his office and told me to go home. My reply was, "I'm trying to!"

My final attempt worked but instead of being outside of work, I was walking in the street towards the city centre. It was also dark so some hours had passed. I noticed on the floor a bunch of cash, I picked them up only to discover they were fake American dollars, they resembled Monopoly money. 

I still pocketed them thinking that I'd find a use for them. As I walked a little further I saw a man staggering in front of me, he spat on the floor. His spit landed in a puddle and was full of blood. I approached the man from behind and saw a huge open bloody wound on the back of his head. 

I took his arm and spun him around only to discover it was friend and work colleague, Richy. He looked dazed and collapsed into the floor. I asked him what happened and he replied, "Some fights you don't win". As he said this his right eye began swelling up and closed as I watched. He drifted in and out of consciousness. 
I tried to shout out for help but no sound came from my mouth. I watched Richy fading away and couldn't do anything about it. 


Saturday, 17 October 2015

Big Dom's watching

I clearly needed a wee in the night because I was dreaming that I had gone into a cubicle and bolted the door shut.

I unzipped my trousers and froze as someone rattled the door. I then watched as the bolt moved around and the door opened towards me.

In stepped big Dom from work, being just a single cubicle, when he shut the door, he was standing nose to nose to me. Or would have if he wasn't so tall and my nose was in his chest.

He didn't speak but nodded towards the toilet as if to say, 'Go on then'. As I have a major issue with peeing in front of anyone I just stood there frozen to the spot.

This went on for hours and I didn't move a muscle until I fell asleep standing up and opened my eyes to find myself in bed.


Friday, 16 October 2015

Foo Fighters bus

Once again I was at my mums house, this time I was with the legendary group The Foo Fighters. They had asked me go and buy one of their albums and bring it back.

I ran excitedly out of the house towards the end of the street. As I looked back at the front door to mums house, all of the group were standing there singing 'One by one'

I saw a number 62 bus at the stop but I was in between two bus stops and couldn't work out which one to run to. I decided to run to the one the bus was heading for but my body felt like lead and I ran in slow motion.
I missed the bus.


Thursday, 15 October 2015

70's curtains

I was laying in bed drifting off to sleep and I was in my mums house but as it was when I was a child in the 1970's. It was a little odd as I thought I was still awake and looking at the window in my bedroom. 

The curtains were drawn but they were bright orange with flowers on, very 70's and very bright. I could hear a low gentle moaning from the other side of the curtains as they blew in the breeze. The moaning was a female and I thought I'd scare her away. 

I went to the window and in one movement, pushed the curtains and shouted out a roar. This coincided with me shouting in my sleep and waking my long suffering wife. I laid awake for a short time and could hear the woman moaning again. 

Turns out it was my wife gently snoring and this had crept into my dream and become a woman outside the window. I'd like to point out that my wife was emitting a low lady like cute snore. 


Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Nothing to report

Unfortunately my alarm going off this morning elliminated anything that I had. 


Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Dagenham Bob

I was walking towards my mums house in Dagenham, Essex. I was in the same spot I always am when dreaming of walking to her house, which is a long straight road just around the corner. If I'm not dreaming of being in the house, I am around the corner on the way there. 

As I approached the junction with mums road, I was walking on the right hand side of the pavement, I heard someone shouting on the left side across the road. I instantly recognised the accent of Bob from work due to his distinctive West Country twang. He is very loud. 

A female next to me said, "That's Dagenham Bob". I looked at her confused as he clearly isn't from Essex. As the female continued to explain that he was a local, Bob was standing at someone's front door shouting his head off. He really is loud. 


Monday, 12 October 2015

Land Rover Tardis

I had stepped into an old Land Rover that was parked at the side of the road. To my surprise when I shut the door, it was huge. Inside was a double bed, a single bed, wardrobes and a full kitchen. A husband and wife smiled and greeted me. 

From under the covers of the single bed, a teenage boy popped out his head and said hello. The lad had a mobile phone, tablet and several other mobile devices. The husband proudly showed me around the Land Rover and it was the size of a small house. 

I thanked them for the tour and stepped back into the street. I wasn't where I was when I entered. I didn't recognise the area and I was sure the Land Rover hadn't moved. As I took in the strange surroundings, I turned back the the Land Rover to ask what had happened. It was gone. 


Sunday, 11 October 2015

Car fire

Almost forgot to post last nights dream! 
Apart from dreaming I was going to the toilet, there wasn't much to it. Thankfully I didn't and never have wet the bed. 

I was in the street and saw two cars that were well ablaze, flames were leaping high into the air from them. Out from behind one of the cars, appeared my wife who was aiming a hose at the cars to extinguish them. She looked up smiled and waved at me. 

I entered a house and climbed upstairs and went into a living room. Sat in the room were two Irish men. Neither if them spoke but I instinctively knew they were from Ireland. The room was completely empty apart from two white upturned plastic buckets that the men were sat on. 


Saturday, 10 October 2015

White tiger

It was dark and I could see a large car, sat in the drivers seat was a man pretending to be Harrison Ford. He looked a little like the famous actor but was clearly not him. Behind him in the rear seats of the car was a giant white tiger, it's head filled the back seat. 

The rest of the tiger was in the boot with his tail hanging out behind the car. Harrison Ford look a like hit the accelerator and the car took off into the air. It was flying like a jet fighter plane, the tail of the tiger was waving behind the car. 

Then flashing white lights started to appear around the car and it zoomed through time and space. Harrison gave out a whoop as he hit the sound barrier and went back in time. He landed the car still in darkness and got out. 

When he lifted the boot to release the giant tiger it was gone. Just its tail remained hanging from the boot of the car. Harrison started to cry. 


Friday, 9 October 2015

Dolls house

I was watching Shaz from work playing with a dolls house, it was very big and had a lot of finely carved miniature furniture inside the rooms. 

Shaz was playing as if he was a small child and happily talked to the small people figures as he placed them in various rooms. One of the figures was an exact replica of singer, Paul Weller. 

Next I was creeping through an old house and walked along a long dark hallway. At the end of the hallway was a closed door. I opened the door and entered the room, either side of the door just inside the room were two single beds. 

In the left bed was friend and work colleague, Sarah, on the right a female I didn't know. Sarah jumped up startled by my presence and said, "Oh god you frightened the life out of me!"  


Thursday, 8 October 2015

Ginger clowns, top hats & naked McDonalds

To begin with as I shut my eyes I saw a group of white faced clowns with bright ginger hair. They had a very sinister look on their faces and made me shout out, "Ginger clowns!"  I then heard a voice whisper, "I can see them too!"  Thanks to my wife for that self entertainment. 

When I went back to sleep I was sat in a studio audience watching a show. In the seat in front of me was a giant top hat. It was sat as if it was a person and was bent in the middle to fit in the seat. It started to laugh and was really enjoying the show. 

Apparently I was shouting out " 9 O'Clock" but I have no memory of this. 

Lastly and most worryingly, I walked into a McDonalds and all of the staff were naked. I was about to order when I saw that one of them was Darren from work. I could only see his nude top half as he was behind the counter, but I didn't stick around any longer. No offence Darren. 


Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Cider & sex

Last night I was in a cellar, or basement, dependant on where you are from. I had set it up for making cider and had industrial size machinery with pipes and buckets bubbling away. Standing in the doorway was village resident, Michael and he was very inquisitive as to what I was doing. 
I then proceeded to take him on a tour of the production line, Michael as a former engineer was very impressed with my set up and wished me luck in my venture. 

The second part of my dreaming is totally X rated and is not for plublication. Sorry. 


Tuesday, 6 October 2015

De Niro rollercoaster

Not sure why but there was no sound in my dream, it was visual but seemed to have been muted. I was on a rollercoaster in the front carriage. With me were acting legends, Robert De Niro and Jim Carey. 

We were all standing up and waving our hands in the air as the rollercoaster dipped and looped, some how we managed not to fall out. I could see Jim mouthing something to me but as I said the dream was in total silence. Then suddenly, Jim completely vanished into thin air. 

I looked over at De Niro who was smirking at me, looking fairly menacing too. I took exception at this and grabbed him from behind, placing both my arms around his waist. I picked him up and dumped him over the edge of the carriage. 

He silently dropped out of sight to an almost certain death. I sat down and continued the ride, smiling to myself. 


Sunday, 4 October 2015

Secret field

Last night I dreamt I was tending to my horses in their field. I was walking along the fence line and noticed some overhanging bushes. I parted them and what is normally a neighbours garden, was a huge grazing paddock. 

I looked and saw it was empty, wondering if I could rent it for extra grazing for my horses. I then sensed someone standing to my left but slightly behind me so I couldn't see them. A man's voice said, "The people next door own that, it could be yours for the right price". 


Saturday, 3 October 2015

Land Rover & cobwebs

An uncomfortable nights sleep for me due to illness but my brain was still dreaming. 
I was watching a man in an old army Land Rover who was driving off road to show off its capabilities. The four wheel drive vehicle was green but as it assented a large hill, it changed colour and then appearance. 

It turned the colour of desert sand and then changed into an American Style truck. As it did this, both its front tyres exploded, sending rubber everywhere. As it reache the top oft the he hill, it's rear tyres exploded too and it came to a stop. 

From looking at this I was then in my man cave in the garden. Water was running inside from the roof and flooding the floor. I just looked on in horror at all and f the contents becoming ruined, thinking there was nothing I could do. 

Lastly I was inside my house and looking up at the ceiling. I don't think that I moved in all three parts of my dream and I remained still whilst the settings changed around me. I could see that the ceiling was covered in cobwebs. 

It was excessive amounts, like you see in horror movies and it looked as if I handed cleaned the house in years. I was upset at seeing this as I didn't seem to be able to move and therefore couldn't do anything about it. 



Friday, 2 October 2015

Secret file

Very brief, I was sat in bed looking on my laptop at pictures that I had taken. As I went through the folders, I found one with a padlock on it. I clicked on the folder and it came up saying it was private and was password protected. 

This I thought was odd as no one else has access to my photography pictures. I put in the first thing that came into my head, which was gooseberries. This to my surprise opened the file, inside it was full of naked females! 

There are times when I wake up at inconvenient times, this was one of them, I attempted to go back to sleep and continue where I left off but no luck.  


Thursday, 1 October 2015

Mad Barrie & horseback tennis

I was in partacabin that was stacked on top of another one, it had been made into some kind of makeshift office. I was chatting with work colleague Barrie, was was laughing and joking with me as he usually does at work. 

A guy I didn't recognise walked in and approached Barrie, he whispered something into his ear. Barrie's mood changed dramatically and he looked at me as if he wanted to kill me. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he knew that I had grassed him up to the bosses for something. 

I pleaded my innocence and denighed any wrong doing. Barrie just wouldn't believe me and the guy that had entered looked at me smiling. Barrie said, "This guy saw you grass". I just replied, "Oh bugger". 

I was next playing tennis with a woman, she had long blonde hair but I didn't know her. She was on horseback and I thought this should work to my advantage. I served and hit it straight into the net, my next service did similar and when I did get it over the net, it fell short. 

The woman laughing at my lack of tennis of skills, soon stopped when her horse bolted and jumped the permimiter fence dumping her on the floor. I smiled to myself and walked away. 

09 10