Saturday, 28 February 2015

Doberman dash

Initially I was woken with an absolute shock as I briefly saw a Doberman dog running at me full speed. Before I had anytime to reacte, the dog leaped up and slammed me hard in the chest. 

I immediately woke up and shouted out, "Shit!"  My wife half opened her eyes to enquire as to my welfare but it was short lived and she fell back to sleep. 

I was next in a house and knew I was the only person there. Faintly from the upstairs of the property I could hear a small child crying. I thought this odd knowing that I was alone and didn't go to check it out. 

Lastly I was with Dave from work and it was Christmas Day. I told Dave my dad was missing and had possibly gone to the pub. We needed to find him as my mum wanted him to spend the day with us. 

Dave and myself set off to the pub and met my dad coming in the opersite direction. I asked dad if he had been down the pub and he pointed down to his feet. 

Dad was wearing running trainers and said, "I wouldn't go to the pub wearing these!" 
Dave said, "Sorry Dad". We all then walked back to my mums house for Christmas dinner.  


Friday, 27 February 2015

Brick chess

I was in someone's living room, it had a large stone built fireplace. In the bottom corner of the fireplace, most of the stone had been removed. 

Sat at a small table was a very drunk husband and wife. Drunk to the stage where they were in annoying repeat mode. 

The table before them was piled high with the missing stones from the fireplace and the husband was constantly saying to his wife, "It is your turn, take another stone out!"  

The wife was so drunk, she collapsed onto the floor, this didn't deter her husband from repeating himself. Under the pile of stone was a chess board. It would appear they were using the stone as peices.  

Lastly I drove my old car into a petrol garage that was on a massive hill. I arrived at the top of the hill and got out of my car. I decided I wanted to use the pump at the bottom of the hill. 

I ran a small wooden toy boat along the floor until I reached the bottom pump. I took the noosle out and the pump started to kick into life. I looked back up and saw my car sat at the top. 

I dropped the noosle on the floor and ran as fast as I could towards my car. Before I could reach the top, I woke up. 


Thursday, 26 February 2015

Fire starter

Along with my wife we were shopping and had a supermarket trolley full of groceries. We headed towards the checkout which was one woman on a single till. The shop appeared to be in a large barn and had huge oak beams. 

The woman was surprised at the amount of food we had, I explained that we were going on holiday for a week and needed provisions. She still looked at our food and was thinking we had too much. I added, "We have some friends coming". 

I next entered an apartment that belonged to me. I was horrified to find that my ex wife, her daughter, and her daughters daughter were all squatting in there. The place was an absolute mess, rubbish everywhere and it was filthy and smelt. 

I started shouting for them to get out and began throwing things around the place. I then saw Stu from work appear in the room, we winked at me and started walking around the appartment. As he wandered around, he casually started setting fire to curtains and clothing. 

As he continued to set things alight, the fire started to intensify and the whole place was ablaze. Stu beconded me to leave and said, " I think that should get them out". 


Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Cheese board

Went to bed feeling rather unwell, huge headache and upset stomach. I really didn't expect to dream at all. Especially when my wife hit me over the head with a box of tissues, really not sure what was going on there. 

The only thing I can recall other than being very hot in the night, was looking at a cheese board. It was the traditional wooden block with a selection of various cheeses from around the world. I did nothing with the cheese, just stared at it. Odd. 


Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Face to face

I woke today slightly unwell and had no recall of any dreaming, however I popped a cheeky hour in before work and saw the following. 

It was a large red racing car, looked like one from the 1960's, maybe earlier. It was long, bullet shaped with a white circle on the front that had the number 20 in it. That all I saw of the car, it was as if it was right in front of me and I was laying on the floor ahead of it. 

Then as the image of the car vanished it was replaced with that of a man in mirrored sunglasses, he was slightly unshaven and I could only see one side of his face. 

This image was replaced with that of the head of our puppy, Nora Batty. She had her head right next to me and her whole face was the tartan pattern of our bed clothes. I'm guessing I was looking at the quilt. 



Monday, 23 February 2015

Tables & chairs

My dad was driving an old style red London bus through the streets of Essex. He seemed very happy but didn't stop to pick up any passengers and continued to drive an empty bus. 

I was next in my dining room and started to carry out all the chairs from the table outside. One by one I moved them into the street where there were two small round wooden tables. They were the same tables that were in my local pub were I used to live 20 years ago. 

I placed my dining room chairs all around the tables and they looked ridiculous. I stood looking at them for a while until a passer by said, " What the hell are you doing?"
Good question to be fair. 


Sunday, 22 February 2015

Dead naked

Bit of a theme going on at the moment, with dead bodies appearing regularly. Last night I didn't know the naked dead female that I found laying in the street. I couldn't see any apparent injuries or cause of death, but I knew she was no longer alive. 

I did nothing other than stare at her body for ages. There was no one else around, nothing moving about and I continued to look on in silence. I seemed to do this for hours. 


Saturday, 21 February 2015


Last night I was at my mums house and went to the neighbours house and found it swarming with police and forensic officers in white suits. I could just manage to peer into the entrance hall and see a dead body on the floor. 

I was shocked to see it was Robert, the neighbours youngest Son, he had the white chalk outline drawn around his body and someone was taking photos of the scene. I haven't actually seen Robert for maybe 20 years and so its odd that he should randomly appear in my dream, albeit dead. 

Upset by the sight of Robert being dead, I returned to my mums house to find that every item of furniture had vanished from downstairs. I went into my old childhood bedroom and discovered it all piled up in there. 

Upon checking it all, I found that the washing machine was missing. I went back to the neighbours house and asked a police officer what was going on. I was informed that it had been seized as evidence. He said that they think that it was used as a murder weapon. 


Friday, 20 February 2015

Lights out

Last night shiftz done and I spent more time than I wanted in a coma today. No brain activity throughout my morning sleep and very little sign of any since I woke up either. 

Nights wipe me out. 


Thursday, 19 February 2015

Word up

Wave your hands in the air
Like you don't care 
Glide by the people as they start to look and stare
Do your dance
Do your dance 
Do your dance quick mama, come on baby tell me what's the word  
Word up

Yep that's been in my head since waking up today! 

Dial "L" for low...
Come on, all you people say...
W-O-R-D up - W-O-R-D up


Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Posh flute

I was in a large room that contained a massive plum tree that reached the ceiling. It wasn't in fruit but I seemed to know that it was a plum tree. Also in the room was my wife and a group of women I didn't know. 

I approached my wife and saw that she was holding a flute. When she spoke, she sounded very posh and informed me that they were all going to perform. The other women all produced various woodwind instruments and started playing. 

Just as my wife was about to perform a flute solo, the phone rang. I awnsered it and as my wife put the flute to her lips, I shouted, "Great news, you've got the job!"  


Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Sleep deficiency

One in three Britons suffers from poor sleep, with stress, computers and taking work home often blamed for the lack of quality slumber. 

However, the cost of all those sleepless nights is more than just bad moods and a lack of focus. 

Regular poor sleep puts you at risk of serious medical conditions including obesityheart disease and diabetes – and it shortens your life expectancy.

As I'm working nights this week it was great to get a solid 6 hours sleep today. I was happy not to dream at all other than waking up with the awesome song, 'Take me to Church' by Hozier blasting in my head. 


Monday, 16 February 2015

Nude puncture

Once again I am naked in my dream, I sleep naked and wonder if this is the reason I see myself nude. That doesn't explain all the other people I see without clothing, but who knows. 

Aside from having no clothes on, I was also in possession of a large cordless drill which needed two hands to hold. Before me was a large inflatable structure that was beflated on the floor, it was flesh coloured and unrecognisable as anything. 

Another man was standing close by, (dressed), he had told me that the inflatable had puncture holes in it and needed fixing. I set about drilling holes all over the thing, which was odd as this clearly wouldn't help fix it. 

I discovered the valve for the thing and drilled it out with precision. The man looked at me and said, "Well, that's buggered it now!" 


Sunday, 15 February 2015

Naked shoot out & fireworks

A very busy night in respect to my sleeping activities, beginning with me arriving at a house to find work colleague, Huggy naked outside of it. A woman is telling him that a man inside has a gun. 

Both the female and Huggy go into the address and I following close behind, Huggy has a gun and has it held out before him as he clears each room. I too have a gun and then notice that I'm naked also. 

As we enter the last upstairs room I pull the female back out of the way and we both burst into the room guns blazing and kill the man dead before even checking if he was armed. 

Huggy tells me that he will deal with the aftermath and I grab a ladies long coat and walk out of the house wearing it. 

Next I'm outside of another door that reportedly has a man inside armed with a knife. I'm with Rich and we are contemplating kicking in the door when our supervisor Mike arrives. 

Mike starts to attempt to bore the man into submission and talks to him for hours. It doesn't work and we go to a local park. There are serveral bosses from work all trying to work out a solution to getting the man out. 

Myself and Rich go back to the house and we climb in a downstairs window onto a wall unit. The unit collapses under our weight and crashes to the floor. 

The noise makes the barricaded man come out to investigate and we take the opportunity to jump him and detain him. 
I start looking inside his room, it is full of old coin collections and industrial size fireworks. 

Rich joins me and we are estounded by the amount of gunpowder in the room. I asked Rich what he did with the man and he looked at me and said, "I thought you had him?"


Saturday, 14 February 2015

Stabbings & shoot ups

I found my notes for last nights dream, scribbled on the kitchen note pad at 2am when I got up to let the puppy out and then again at 6am. At least I know what happened, unlike the previous evening. 

I was working on a construction site and my job was to turn a metal wheel every hour clockwise. That was it, I was very bored and extremely happy when I heard the lunch time buzzer go off. I left the site and started walking away, in my head I'd already decided never to return. 

I was next with my wife and I'd asked her to show me her scares on her stomach. She looked confused as I explained I couldn't remember if I'd stabbed her before or if it was a dream. My wife still looking perplexed, told me she had no idea what I was talking about. 

Lastly, I was playing Call of Duty and shooting various people as they advanced towards me. When I looked at my gun, I was actually pointing my fingers and then I started making gun noises with my mouth. The characters in the game stopped and looked at me and started laughing at my pathetic attempts.  


Friday, 13 February 2015


I was dreaming last, I know this because I was writing everything down at various intervals onto my phone so that I could be confident in recalling it all later. I even remember thinking to myself that I had lots to write about. 

When I've woken this morning, the notes on my phone are totally blank. I must have been dreaming that I was writing it all down! Doh. 


Thursday, 12 February 2015

BMW plums

I started off by being at my mums house with actor Chrisopher Ellison, who played DCI Frank Burnside in TVs The Bill. He said he was going to give me a lift home and his car was parked around the corner. 

When we walked to his car, it was a massive white coloured BMW that looked like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was very high and had globe shaped windows on the top where we sat. It was more like a space ship than a car. 

He drove me to somewhere I didn't know, a high street in a town, I got out and started walking towards a shop. I was carrying the large purple bucket that I use to carry hay in for my horses. Inside the bucket was a rabbit and a mouse. 

I was next in my back garden and my wife told me that the tree next to the plum tree was loose in the ground. I went to check and lent on the plum tree just as my wife called out, "Be careful not to damage the plum tree". Coinciding with her call, the plum tree snapped and broke clean off from its roots. 

I was so upset at the prospect of no crop of plums this year, I stood there in shock with the tree in my hand just starring at it in disbelief.  


Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Supermarket crisps

I was with my wife and mother in law in a supermarket, ahead of us were six children of various ages, the oldest being around eight. My mother in law said to me that she needed to buy crisps for her children, I looked farwards at the line of kids all following the oldest who was pushing the trolley. 

I was somewhat amazed that my mother in law had managed to hide the fact she had all these children, I watched as they chose between salt and vinegar and plain flavour crisps, piling the trolley up high with them. 

My mother in law, every now and again kept laying down on the floor and looking under the shelves of food displays. I asked her what she was doing and her reply was, "That man on the telly said that some of the food has fresh cream inside it and you can see it when you lay down". I didn't question this! 


Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Secret underground spy centre

The night started off with me meeting Scott from work in the street, he was sat on the cold wet floor with a group of homeless men, drinking methylated spirt. It was a sorry state to see and I couldn't believe how Scott had become homeless and destitute. 

As he downed his drink, Scott explained that he had become hooked on gambling and had lost everything in a poker game. I thought about helping him but then dismissed it and walked away from him. 

I was next in a pleasure cruise boat on the river Thames in London. The boat was being driven by an American man and he was shouting out the sights as we past them. The boat slowed and he said he needed some provisions and jumped off into a shop. 

He called back for me to keep the boat from drifting off, I lent over the front of the boat and grabbed the canopy over the shop. It immediately came off in my hands and the boat drifted away and off down the river, leaving the American in the shop. 

The boat crashed into the bank and I jumped ship to escape the now damaged and unmanned vessel. It became night time as I walked through the streets of London. I lent against a wall and a secret door opened, I entered into what looked like an abandoned control centre. 

There were huge control panels covering whole walls with multi coloured lights and buttons. The place was covered in cobwebs and clearly hadn't been used for years. Suddenly all the panels lit up and started flashing. On a screen I could see the street outside. 
From the top of a street light, a green laser beam shot up into the air. 


Monday, 9 February 2015


I was happily hitting windows with a claw hammer, listening to the satisfying sound that comes with breaking glass. Before me was a wall of windows, all in neat little wooden frames just waiting to be smashed. 

Unfortunately I was rudely awoken this morning by the bedroom light being flicked on and a mug of tea being plonked next to my head. Shame, it was very relaxing. 


Sunday, 8 February 2015

Biscuits or crackers?

I honestly have no memory of anything from last night other than looking at some biscuits for cheese. They were sitting on a plate on a table, I'm not sure if they were biscuits or crackers, but they were for cheese. Nothing else happened, no sound and no movement. 

I wonder what the difference is with biscuits for cheese and crackers used for cheese? I'll look into it. Maybe. 


Saturday, 7 February 2015


I don't have conclusion to last nights dream as it was interrupted very abruptly when I was called upon to rescue a Jack Russell chasing a rat, that subsequently got struck behind the shed. The dog not the rat, but that's another story. 

I was at work and saw my colleague, Sye who was very angry looking when I approached him. He started shouting at me, he said, "You have mugged Timmy right off with that builder you recommended". I had no idea what he was talking about. 

I then saw my friend Timmy walking towards us and I gave him the same greeting I always give him. I shouted, "Timmmmmmmmmay!" Sye still looked on at me angrily and I was still none the wiser as to why. 
It was at this point I was pulled out of the dream by my wife entering the bedroom and requesting urgent Jack Russell assistance. 


Friday, 6 February 2015

Clean up

I began by being in the local shop that my mum used to work in for many years. The whole place was very dusty and it looked like a building site. 

My mum was serving customers and so I immediately began dusting and cleaning the place up. As I did this, I started floating off the ground and hoovered in the air close to the ceiling. 

I then saw Robbo from work enter the shop, he started playing with a remote control car, which was odd as the shop sold wool and net curtains. 

I was next in my old flat from when I was 20. I walked in and found my work supervisor, Mike, rearranging my furniture. He opened a door and pulled out a rolled up carpet and said, "You won't believe what's in this". 

He started to unroll it and I became very nervous. Before he could open it up I shouted, "Quick, we need to go, someone is being killed". With this we both ran out of the flat into the street. 

I then felt pain in my right ankle and when I looked at it, it was red and swollen. I started to rub it and then woke up and I was actually rubbing my ankle. 


Thursday, 5 February 2015

Cola quiz

I was at school and it was four people to a table, everyone in the class were adults and the teacher announced we were having a quiz. Sat on my table were two people I didn't know and my good friend, Matt. 

The teacher said that our table was going to be used for playing with toy cars on later and that we should evenly spread ourselves onto the other tables in the class. All four of us moved onto the table next to ours. The quiz started and the first table of four were asked a set of questions. 

All eight of us on the table started to giggle at the prospect of winning as we had twice as many on our team. As it neared our turn, we laughed all the more, it was just about to be our turn when we suddenly found ourselves on a sandy beach. 

In the sand were lots of toy cars and Matt quickly forgot the disappointment of the quiz and sat playing with them. He made the engine and skidding sounds of the cars like a small child does. 
I was then approached by a man who asked me to help him find a missing girl. 

I was then in a room that the man told me was the missing girls and that we should search for clues to her disappearance. The walls had built in cupboards and I opened the very top one which was close to the ceiling. Inside I found a box of cereal, a carton of milk and a bottle of diet cola. 

The man told me to bring the bottle of cola and we went off in search of the missing girl. The scene then flashed into a cellar where I could see the man again who was pouring the cola through a tube into the mouth of a girl. I assumed it was the missing girl, the tube went into her stomach and gallons of cola was coming back out of her nose and flooding the floor. 

The girl was unconscious but suddenly woke up, removed the tube and said, "Hello?" I was then outside a church about to attend a wedding. 
As I walked in I was informed that the brides father had died and to save money, his funeral would be straight after the wedding. 


Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Gangs, wars & chewing gum

A lot going on last night, starting off with me talking to an ex street gang member, who was telling me all of the slang words and the meaning of them. 

He was sat in the middle of an empty stone courtyard at a small table. His left hand was frozen still like a manaquins hand and it was painted bright red. 

He spoke of different gang rituals and killings and as he did so, his right hand became motionless and also turned red. 

I'm next in a field and two World War One Soilders struggling to walk, head towards me, they are carrying each other and are covered in mud and blood. They fell at my feet and one of them started screaming. 

I became very disturbed by this and ran into a nearby toilet to escape him. When I enter the toilet, the walls are all smeered with human excrement. 
I lift the toilet seat and it falls off in my hand. 

Suddenly the room turned into a doctors waiting room full of people. There wasn't enough room for everyone to sit down. I had a stick of chewing gum in my hand and I was rolling it up like a miniature carpet. 

I popped the gum into my mouth and started chewing the stick. As soon as I did this the room became deadly silent. All that could be heard was me chewing. Everyone in the room looked at me. 


Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Head scream

Whát I thought was the most realistic dream ever, actually turned out to be real. I was asleep and my head was thumping, the pain was intense and it felt like my head was screaming. 

I turned over and opened my eyes to find the pain still present, and I had the mother of all headaches. I can't say I've ever woken up with a headache before and it was a few hours before it disappeared. 


Monday, 2 February 2015

Skeleton teeth & stoned dogs

Back into the weird again last night with the vision of various skeleton heads flashing before my closed eyes as I drifted off. Each one that appeared, had huge white teeth and were smiling at me. It almost became a constant flashing, enough to set off someone into a fit. 

I was next at work and riding a massive motorbike. I can't actually ride a bike so it was odd that in my sleep, I was an expert rider. I was driving at high speed throughout the streets and was a superb rider. 

I arrived at a house that had a very overgrown front garden, so much so that trees had grown into the windows and doors. Stepping inside I saw a staircase that had big vine like roots ascending to the upper floor. I climbed to the top of the stairs and looked out of the back window. 

In the garden below was a team of paramedics attending to what I assumed was a person, they were crowded around them, so I couldn't see clearly. I took out an axe and chopped at the vine roots, I threw the vine out of the window below me. 

One of the paramedics came running up the stairs shouting at me. He explained that the vine I was throwing out were massive canabis plant roots and he told me that their casualty had eaten some. 
I walked into the garden to see that the casualty was a dog. 

It was laying on the floor with stoned looking eyes and a smile on its face. It then started giggling. The paramedic said that the roots were evil and that I must burn them. I took this information in and decided to just leave.   


Sunday, 1 February 2015

09 10