Saturday, 21 November 2015

Prison breakout & pasta beach

Sometimes I long for a solid uninterrupted sleep free of dreaming, I honestly wake up tired because my brain never stops. Unfortunately it was not to be last night. 

I started off by climbing a huge solid metal wall with work colleague Stu, it was cast iron and painted black, at the top was barbed wire and razor sharp nails sticking up. It wasn't until we reached the top that we realised we were in prison. 

As we clambered down the other side to freedom, the alarm sounded and we were rumbled. On the other side we both picked up a wooden chair and started running with it. From the top of the wall came a cry of, "Come back here you gays"! It was work colleague James. We kept running. 

We ran into my mums house, placed our chairs under the table and sat down. I could still here the siren from the prison and footsteps from outside the living room window. My mum placed a cooked breakfast in front of us and we tucked in. The people outside ran past. We had escaped. 

Next I had seen my step Son Michael asleep and decided to prank him. He woke up to find himself laying in a metal tray half full of water, he also had his face made up like a glamour model and was wearing a lecklace made of washing gel tablets sewn together with string. He wasn't happy. 

I walked along the seafront at Skegness beach laughing to myself at what I'd done to Michael, as I walked further, my feet started to feel like lead and the sand was very heavy. I looked down to see that the beach wasn't sand but dried pasta shapes. 

I finally reached a theatre on the beach and walked inside, the floor was concrete and my shoes were making a loud metal sound. When I looked at my feet, I was wearing boots with huge wedged heels that had metal studs nailed into the heels. 

As I examined my footwear a man jumped out of the shadows and placed a knife against my throat. He shouted, "Don't make me kill you!"  I then instantly transformed into rap legend Eminem. As slim shady, I pushed the knife out of his hand and punched him square in the face. He was unconscious and I returned to myself. 

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