Tuesday, 23 September 2014
I began last night by grooming a horse, not sure who's horse it was but it wasn't mine. I had a large plastic container which was full of chopped onions in water. After a short time in the water, they had become soft. I then proceeded to use them to plait the horses mane. I mixed it up a bit too by breaking up a red pepper into the onions to give it a dash of colour.
I was next walking towards a house carrying a cricket bat. I heard a helicopter overhead and looked up to see it directly above a lamppost. It had a camera pointing it. On the floor around the lamppost were dozens of dead rats.
I continued to the house and booted open the front door, I ran at a table and smashed the cricket bat onto the wooden surface, breaking the table in half. I then ran upstairs, kicked open another door and ran in. Sat on a bed was actor Aaron Paul.
Aaron looked up at me, he could see the cricket bat I was holding and didn't seem at all worried. I raised it above my head and bought it down with a loud crack on his head. He didn't flinch and looked slightly smug.
As I turned to leave the room, I dropped the cricket bat on the floor and thought about poisoning him instead. As I tried to work out how to do this I awoke from my slumber.
Posted by Max Walsh
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