Saturday, 7 June 2014
My friend has got no nose
A total random mix of events from last night, starting off with a female who appeared to be a friend of mine, but I didn't know her. She wanted me to cut the top of her nose off with a machete, I initially dismissed her request as a joke but she became very insistent.
After several times of asking her,"Are you really sure about this?", I lent her head back and swiped her nose off in one smooth blow. Oddly it didn't bleed.
I was next in a hospital and an Asian family were all crying and asking me for some answers as to why someone had died. I had no idea and just wanted to get away from them. I hid in another room pretending to look for something on a shelf as the family continued to cry.
I was next in dire need to go to the toilet, I was frantically running around a house looking for somewhere to go before it was too late. I found a toilet but it was in the middle of a bedroom. Desperate I dropped my trousers and set about the task in hand.
It was only then that I realised there was no toilet paper. Looking around me I could only see a white coloured bra and a black one. Desperate times require desperate measures and I utilised the underwear. Just as I was doing this a long line of children walked into the room and all looked at me in a mixture shock and disgust.
Finally I was walking along a long tunnel from a football stadium, in my mind I was thinking it was maybe Wembley, but I was only guessing this.
As I walked along I started to pick items up off the floor. First I found a badge with Aston Villa on it, then an England flag and a West Ham sticker. I picked these up and kept walking.
I turned a corner and found hundreds of flags and scarves, all with Aston Villa on them. I then bumped into Justin from work and asked him if Aston Villa had lost a game and their fans had discarded them in disgust. Justin told me he had no idea and that he was waiting to have a job interview.
Posted by Max Walsh
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