Monday, 9 June 2014

Cricket and cake

After spending two years in prison I was watching one of the most pointless sports in the world last night, cricket. Never has there been a more mind numbingly, tedious dull game, it makes stamp collecting seem exciting. 
I was sat in the crowd watching a game and I was bored to the extent I was thinking of the quickest way to end my life and releasing myself from the torture. 

I was then at work and the road outside had been made into a swimming pool, I was able walk along the pavement and jump in whenever I felt like a swim. Cars and lorries had been converted into boats so that it could still be used for transport. 

I entered into our briefing room in my dressing gown and it was very dark. Someone had placed paper over all of the windows and fixed them with staples. I walked around the room pulling them down and allowing light into the room. 

As the room was illuminated by sunlight, I saw that the big briefing table in the centre of the room was completely covered in cakes. There wasn't a single piece of table visible. 
Steve who had been sat in the corner noticed the cakes as the light hit them, he jumped from his seat and shouted, "Breakfast!" 

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