Sunday, 26 January 2014
I was working in my garden, cutting a few branches back when I was suddenly and definitely surprised by a polar bear that started to attack me.
The only thing I had to defend myself was a Swiss Army knife which had the little saw attachment out. Frantically I made vain stabbing movements towards the beast. Until I realised that it was actually the knife that it was attacking.
I dropped the Army knife and watched as the polar bear swooped on it, tearing it to bits. I made good my escape.
I was next sat in the office at work talking to Simon, the chat was just normal banter. I heard my phone alert me to a text. It was a number I didn't know and the text read, 'Go kill yourself'.
I looked at this puzzled when a second text arrived from the same number. It said, 'You disgust me, I've told Alan about it'.
This was clearly someone with the wrong number as I don't know anyone called Alan. I started to reply outlining the fact they had made a mistake when I woke up.
Posted by Max Walsh
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