Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Gaffa tape and time travel

A bizarre series of events from last nights slumber starting with me getting up to go to the loo. I often get confused, thinking I'm actually awake at times until something indicates otherwise. 

I was standing about to pee when I looked down and saw that my penis was wrapped in black gaffa tape. I started to unwrap it but my right hand was made of soft plastic and started elongating. 

Using my left hand I pulled at my plastic hand and snapped it off, which I then dropped into the toilet pan along with the gaffa tape. Unfortunately my penis had also come off. 

I was next bending up a wire coat hanger in front of someone I didn't know. The man was fidgeting as he needed the toilet. I made the hanger into the shape of a car and handed it to him. As I did this it turned into car shaped toast dripping with butter. 

Lastly I had time traveled to 1976 and was in a large shopping centre with my nephew George. He was showing me around and I was confidently telling him which shops were going to do well in the future. 

We entered a Taylor's run by a large portly gentleman. George told me he worked there at weekends but had been sacked. 
I spoke to the owner who and was supremely confident in giving him investment tips for the future. He agreed to give George his job back. 

Just as he did this George popped his head around the door and said, "How can this be right, it's 1976, I shouldn't even be here?"  He had a point. 

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