Friday, 31 May 2013

Richard Hammond's DIY

Starting off by sitting in my mums back garden, my Dads long departed best friend arrives for a cooked breakfast that I have prepared. 
I hand him a plate of fried sausage, bacon and eggs and the same for myself. Unfortunately he has brought someone else with him and I stand there, plate of food in my hand as the stranger looks hopefully on at my food and I ponder if I should give it too him. 

My next recollection is being in a half decorated apartment that Top Gear star Richard Hammond is living in. 
Not the kind of place I'd expect him to live and he is clearly not into DIY as the place is a mess. 
I go around inspecting his work and find that a newly plastered wall is in danger of coming off. Richard is unconcerned by this and demonstrates this by reclining in a huge leather armchair whilst watching TV. 

There is a knock at the door which causes Richard to jump from his chair and franticly start putting wallpaper onto the walls but over the plaster that is about to fall away. 
I open the door and a man I don't know hands me a set of car keys and says, "You can have my car now". He points to a blue coloured vehicle parked on the road and walks away. 
Inside Richard has once again reclined in his chair and is asleep. 
I shut the front door and head for my newly acquired car leaving Richard to sleep. 

                       

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Aimless wandering

I'm certainly having some deeper sleeping sessions whilst working nights at the moment as my dreaming is considerably reduced. 

Maybe my subconscious is telling me that I'm a tortured lost soul by portraying images of me wandering in search of something as I walked through green fields and over hills. 
Or maybe I was just in too much of a deep sleep to recall anything. Whatever the reason, I only have a vision of open fields and an empty horse yard devoid of people or livestock. 

I woke with a heavy head and the feeling that I was missing something. I'll have another look for whatever it was during my next sleep. 
                                 

                         

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Wooden bear

After a very long time I worked late into the small hours and therefore passed out into a coma. I did have a brief dream which involved one of my cats. 

I was in a huge old barn with a massive wooden beam ceiling. I was restoring the huge entrance gates and was standing back proudly looking at my at work. 
My neighbour entered and commended me on my restoration of the doors but immediately pointed out that the very large metal bolts attached to the bottom of them no longer lined up with the holes in the floor. 

Standing scratching my head at my error she just took hold of the doors and lifted them up and took a step to the right and dropped them directly in line with the bolt holes. 
I pointed out that doing this left a gap between the door frame and wall and suddenly my cat called Bear appeared and slipped into the gap and moulded perfectly to fill it. 
As Bear moved inside the gap he turned into wood filling the hole. 
                                                                           
                                     

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Drunk in the sink

A very brief recognition from last night.  I was visiting my mums house only to discover that a drunken man was laying semiconscious  in her bathroom. His feet were sticking out into the hallway and I couldn't get past him to enter the bathroom. 
Going into the kitchen I found another drunken man, this one was sat in the kitchen sink with his arms and legs hanging over the sides lifelessly. 

I decided to leave my mums house and opened the front door to go when I was confronted with the man that I had just seen in the kitchen sink. Somehow I knew his name was Dennis and he was very angry. 
Dennis started to punch me in the face and shouted at me, "Why didn't you help me?"  
The dream ended there and I have no further memory's from the night. 

                     

Monday, 27 May 2013

Jack's amazing carpentry

I was taking apart wooden pallets to use the timber to construct simple rectangular shaped raised beds for my vegetable garden. 
There was no real science to it, as long as the lengths were equal, it was easy. 
I was approached by Jack from work who asked if he could help out. Welcome of the assistance I handed him a pallet. 
Jack then took out an elaborate looking saw with several blades and started to cut the wood. 

When finished he had constructed an amazing and intricate carved boat that had a raised flower bed within its centre.  
Standing back in admiration I congratulated Jack on his masterpiece. He then looked at the end of his blunt pencil, turned and inserted it into the mouth of a full size tiger. 
Instead of losing his arm the pencil rotated and sharpened to a point. 
Jack just looked at me and smiled. 


                           
                                

Sunday, 26 May 2013

Eastenders, sun and pee

Real World events had a direct influence on my dreaming last night. 
Firstly the cast of popular but tedious soap opera, Eastenders were all assembled at the foot of a mountain. I'd like to point out that I never watch it. A young man was about to propose to a girl and the cast all cheered him. 
It was all going very well until he started to speak and had a very posh accent. 
The ensuing jeers from the crowd send the man floating up in the air until he reaches the top of the mountain. 
At the top there is a hollow full of water where the man drops into. He starts to franticly splash his arms as the water is full of live eels. 

Next I'm running as fast as I can towards my mums house as I need the toilet, I cross a bridge and board an old wooden sailing ship. I dash around the decks looking for a toilet and finally find one, I shut the door and start to pee. In my dream I speak out loud and tell myself, "You need to wake up". I open my eyes pulling myself from the dream and go to the toilet. 

Finally I was staying in a cheap hotel in a foreign country and waiting to leave for home. Having packed my suitcase I went for a last walk out onto the balcony to take in the view. 
On the balcony I found my younger sister but she is about 14 years old. She explained that her room was the other side of a brick wall and the door had vanished. 
I then set about teaching her how to pass her body through solid matter by the power of thought. I placed my arm on the wall and fell straight through and found myself back in my hotel room. 

I then heard shouts of it being time to leave for the airport and grabbed my suitcase. Having one last look at the room I found that I'd left my camera bag under the bed. 
As I walked out of the room a massive intense bright white light hit my face and I had to squint. 
As I left the room I opened my eyes from my dream and the morning sun was shining through the window onto my face. 


 

                     

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Yellow

One of those dreams where I'm there but it plays out like a TV programme last night.  
Standing in a street at night a woman dressed in yellow stood at a microphone stand and started to sing. All around was a vast crowd also all dressed in yellow. 

As the woman continued to sing a football team assembled behind her, they too were wearing a yellow kit. 
As they prepared to play they were busy watching the woman singing and an opposing team ran around them and scored a goal while they were not paying attention. 

Finally a yellow double decker bus arrived and I got onto it. I stood up as all the seats were taken and as the bus moved away my head was filled with noise. The noise was all consuming and appeared to be made up of many different people talking and music playing at the same time so that I couldn't define any one sound. 
I woke at this point thankfully but with a headache. 

                     

Friday, 24 May 2013

Darth Vader in a box

I was going to work in an office and upon my arrival I was slightly disappointed that I had to share a room with three others. 
There were two females that I didn't know and Malcolm Powder from my work. 
The four of us were crammed into a room that could literally fit two desks in. They were along opposite walls with only enough gap between them for the chairs. On the two remaining walls was a cupboard and the entrance door on the other. 

Both the women had claimed the desks and myself and Malcolm decided to tidy the cupboard out. It was full of empty boxes which we started to throw at the females. 
We then both found a box with our names on and excitedly opened them. 
Inside was a kit model of Darth Vader that needed gluing together. The pieces were all in frames and I spent the rest of my day carefully removing them and building my Star Wars model. 
Good work if you can get it! 

                     

Thursday, 23 May 2013

David Seaman's end

In my dream former Arsenal and England international football player David Seaman was about to retire from the game. Although I understand he did this some time ago. 
Along with David, his manager and another man I didn't recognise, we were on the edge of a football pitch. 

We all decided to go to sleep and lay down pulling up the edge of the grass as if it was a blanket. With it tucked up to our necks we all drifted off to sleep. 
The next thing I am aware of is one of the men talking to my wife. 
He is saying to her, "Do you know he talks in his sleep?"
My wife's disgruntled reply is,"Oh yes I'm fully aware of that thank you!"

David retired from the game on 13 January 2004, following a recurring shoulder injury. No doubt from years of carrying around the weight of that ridiculous ponytail.  


 

                                 

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Phone box car

To start off I appeared to be laying in a bed with a glass wall either side of it. Beyond the glass were fish swimming, creating the impression I was under water. 
I got up out of bed and walked into the street and headed towards a red telephone box. I reached up and took hold of the top of the box and pulled it down so that it was laying on its side. 
I then opened the door and climbed in to what was now the inside of a car. 
I flicked the radio on and the tune, "The lion sleeps tonight", came on. 
I then drove off in my red phone box car. 

I was next in prison and had been sentenced to two months but I didn't know for what crime. 
I decided that to pass the time I would read a book and stay in my cell, not mixing with anyone else. 
I soon realised that I'd need more than the one book I had with me. Fortunately my cell was well equipped with a plasma TV and telephone. 
I called my wife and asked her to pop me in some more reading material and as I wasn't mixing with the other inmates, some ready meals to place the fridge I also found in my cell. 
Crime doesn't pay? Hmmmm. 
                                     
                                  

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Tattoos and gold

As I was sleeping I could feel something tickling my stomach and was under the impression that it was my wife cuddling into me.  It was that odd drifting sensation you experience in between sleep and  consciousness. 
Looking down at my body immediately told me I was asleep as my wife was expertly tattooing my stomach. A huge tribal style ink patten which covered most of my stomach. 
As she moved the needle around the side of my torso it began to hit the very sensitive part and made me jolt up awake in bed. 

The next part of my dream involved an old man in a branch of a Woolworth's store. He approached the staff and indicated he wanted to buy a gold necklace and a LP if the group The Jam.  
The staff rushed around pampering to the old man in the belief that he was rich and made the jewellery salesman come out of his lunch break to serve the man. 

After unlocking display cabinets and showing the man all the expensive gold, he decided that he would just buy the album. 
A young black sales assistant held up the old mans cheque book and pointed to a figure printed on it. 
"Look here sir you have £27,000". 
The old man smiled and said, "Just give me my album boy!"




                          

Monday, 20 May 2013

School dummy

Running through the corridors of a building, I am late for school, however I am an adult. 
A woman's voice crackles over a tannoy system that the class has been moved to Mr O'Neils office and I hastily arrive at the room. 
As I enter I notice a block of tables in the centre of the room and the only available seat is next to a girl with bright ginger hair. I circle the tables twice just to make sure there are no other places and sit next to the girl when I see its the only seat. 

On the board is a set of questions that make no sense to me but everyone else is busy writing. In the corner a female teacher is watching over proceedings. 
In my mind I have no idea what I am meant to do and know that I haven't revised or completed my homework. 

I notice that the ginger girl is Debbie that used to live in my street when I was a child but I avoid talking to her. 
To her left are two big men that look identical, I assume that they are brothers and that they are simpletons as they are wearing matching knitted jumpers. One is yellow and the other green. 
I look up to see that the questions have been rubbed off and a different set have been written. 
I know in my mind that I am in trouble. 

                               

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Spike Milligan's World

I was in a cave with two other men that I didn't know. We had walked into the cave and had reached what we believed to be as far as we could go at a wall of rock. 
Looking at our feet we noticed that the floor was flowing as if it was water and disappeared under the wall of rock. The two men sat down with their backs towards the wall and they bent completely double as they were sucked under the wall. 
I wanted to go with them and hastily sat facing the wall but I wasn't getting sucked under. I turned so that I faced the other way and I too was bent in half and vanished under the wall. 

I was immediately sat next to the other two men and floating backwards away from a bright light into darkness. I held out my hands in front of my face and rotated them thinking to myself that this isn't real. 
I could hear horrible slimy cracking sounds close to my ears. I then noticed that these were giant insects eating their way out of cocoons. 
We stood up but were still floating as if on the ground was a massive conveyor belt. Towards us it became light and I was then aware that a forth man was standing with us. It was veteran funny man Spike Milligan. 

Spike didn't look like how I remembered him, his face was serious and was covered in cuts and grazes. 
As it got lighter I could see that everywhere was covered in the huge cocoons all making the spine chilling noise as giant insects hatched. 
Spike turned to us and said, "This is my hell, you shouldn't have come here".

Lastly just prior to waking I needed the toilet and dreamt that I had entered my mums house and told her I wanted to pee. Rushing in the bathroom I was shocked to find an empty space where the toilet used to be. 
I asked my mum why she had neglected to tell me the toilet was missing and she just shrugged and said, "They are fitting a new one soon, you'll have to wait".

I woke at this point in need of the toilet. Thankfully mine was still there. 

                              

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Robert De Niro's waiting

Many years ago I used to work in the warehouse of a supermarket in the Lincolnshire seaside town of Skegness. It was in this setting that my dream was set. 
I was laying down on the floor and beside me was legendary actor Robert De Niro. Robert was telling me not to trust anyone and he rolled over landing on top of me. 
As he did this his whole body and face became vastly inflated making him four times his normal size but he didn't weigh any more. 
He rolled some more and landed on the other side of me. When there he tried to hide that he was dialling a number on his mobile but I could see him doing it. 

A phone rang in the distance and Robert asked me to answer it. 
As I got up I saw Robert grab for a gun, I dashed behind some shelving and pulled out a can of pepper spray. 
I then ran around the warehouse spraying everyone in the face that I came across. 
After getting everyone I then set about going after Robert. I searched the entire warehouse but he had given me the slip. 
Next time De Niro!

                              

Friday, 17 May 2013

Rock n Roll bunny

I was in a street when I found a confused looking man who didn't know who he was or where he lived. He was totally disorientated and I decided to try and help him. 
Approaching a nice looking thatched roofed cottage, we entered but the interior was a very expensive looking hotel room. 
I told the man to sleep and he took one of the beds.

There was a knock on the door and when I opened it, Micky Mouse and Pluto entered. 
Looking slightly surprised at two cartoon characters arriving at my door, I was even more shocked when I noticed I was Bugs Bunny. 
Mickey said to me, "Come on let's party". 

We then set about smashing the hotel room up Rock n Roll style whilst playing very loud music. 
After a while with the room completely trashed I went to see if the man I'd found earlier was ok. 
Not surprisingly he had gone. 
 

                     

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Random floating

No real structure to my dreams last night. It was as if I was floating in and out of different locations and then various people and items floated past me as I watched. 
I do recall shouting out when I grabbed a very sharp looking piece of metal, knowing that it would cut me I still took hold of it. I was informed by my wife that I called myself an idiot. 

I was next in an old spooky looking house that was more resemblant of a horror movie set. My wife and I had arranged our wedding by placing all the guests we liked in white clothing and the ones we didn't like in black and put them behind a black curtain. 
Everyone was sat as if in an audience and on a screen the end credits played listing all the guests. 

I next drifted along a playing field, I was moving a rabbit hutch around two men playing football. On top of the hutch I placed my mobile phone and plugged it in to charge. 
I was then inside a building where I saw Shaz from work. His phone was next the entrance and was an old phone of mine I had given him. On the display it read, one message. 

Finally I was attempting to shoot various people from work as they walked around in the street. I had a high powered sniper rifle but the trigger kept disappearing when I was about to fire. 
I floated through a gap between two houses and found myself on a beach. Looking out at the ocean I could see a garden ornament just suspended in the air. It was one of those shaped metal ones that show an image when they spin in the wind. 
I started to shoot it when a female asked me if I wanted any rice pudding. 
She took my arm and dragged me into a house. She just kept repeating herself again asking if I wanted rice pudding. 


                                 

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Wanted man

I'm sure if I was analysed about dreaming I'm wearing women's clothing it would bring up all kinds of suppressed emotions and feelings. 
I was a the real me, as in flesh and blood but dressing in cartoon female clothing in some kind of vast indoor garden. 

The other part of my nights entertainment involved myself and my wife bringing a wanted person to justice. He was a scruffy looking man who was in need of a drug hit as he was shaking uncontrollably. 
As we placed him into a prison cell he kicked me in the leg. I swept my leg and took his balance away by kicking both his feet. 
He fell backwards and smashed his head open on the hard concrete bed, his head split open. We had a look at his head, decided he was ok and shut the door. 
With this the man went crazy, smashing the toilet and pulling the cistern off the wall. 
A huge spray of water started to fill the cell and as a safety feature the window opened. But instead of making his escape the man sat down and cried. 
We entered the room and a small boy climbed into the cell through the now open window. 

I picked up the boy and threw him outside as if he was weightless. The man turned to me and begged to be given some drugs. I then noticed that there was a huge hole in his head and I could see his brain. 




                            

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

S.W.A.T wife and fruit cake fish

Some odd happenings last night starting with my ability to travel to-alternative worlds. I could achieve this by selecting various items such as a CD or book and floating into them, arriving in a different time and dimension. 
I jumped into a heavy rock CD and arrived inside a small boys cupboard in his bedroom.  
The excited boy then wanted to travel to my world but I said I would explore his world first. 

Finding a lake another boy was fishing and had caught a piece of fruit cake. He then asked me to plug it into the mains electric which I couldn't do because I needed to change the plug to fit UK sockets.
Whilst explaining this to the boy the fruit cake fish disintegrated in his hand. 

I was next running around a town in Norfolk following my wife who was carrying an assault rifle. She told me that three men had run off and we were going to hunt them down. 
I struggled to keep up as she ran at high speed commando rolling over cars and through church yards. 

I finally jumped into a taxi to follow her as I couldn't keep up the pace. Watching ahead I saw my wife drop behind a wheelie bin and start firing. Yelling at the taxi driver to stop I opened the door but the driver took ages to slow and stop the car. 
I eventually ran from the car towards the gunfire but woke before reaching my wife. 



                            

Monday, 13 May 2013

Green box

A brief encounter with work colleagues Kyle and Adam last night. I was inside a house and was under attack from riot police in full body armour, shields and batons. 
I have no idea why they were after me but I wasn't in a position to give myself up. One of them poked their head through an open window and I grabbed his riot shield. 
I then ran outside and like a crazed madman I chopped everyone of them down and left them all in an unconscious pile. 

I could then hear Kyle laughing and I looked to see him and Adam holding a green box. I approached them and from the green box Kyle pulled out a mangled credit card from a slot in the side. 
He handed me the card which upon inspection I saw was my credit card. Laughing as he spoke, Kyle said, "We maxed your credit card dude". 
I was furious, knowing that I had no credit left on the card I knew I was in trouble. 
As I stood there staring at the remains of my card, Kyle and Adam walked off and all I could hear was Kyle still laughing. 


                         

Sunday, 12 May 2013

The little people

I was working in a bar that was run by radio one DJ Jo Whiley. The second dream this week involving a DJ and I never listen to radio one. 
I was a miniature version of myself because I was needed to slide through a small tube to push packets of peanuts into the bar when Jo asked for them. 
I was no bigger than a packet of the savoury treats and I dived feet first to enable them to be delivered. 
I was rushing through the tube when Jo shouted out that she didn't need any peanuts and was leaving. I stopped moving and was trapped in the middle of the tube unable to escape. 

Keeping with the little theme, I was one of two tiny brothers that worked in the co op store. 
We rode toy motorbikes around the shop floor checking that everything was ok on the shelves. But when we found empty shelves we were unable to do anything about it due to only being an inch tall. 

Just prior to waking I was my normal size and drove my car into a really busy petrol garage. There were massive queues and I decided to leave. As I glanced at the newspaper stand by the exit there was a headline saying that I was wanted for murder. 
I left the garage puzzled as I couldn't remember killing anyone? 



                      

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Hip hop milk

I was at work and everyone was sat in the office taking some kind of written exam. I entered the room to see that it had gone past home time and started to clap my hands and wake everyone from their trance like state. 
Thankful for this they all started leaving except for Julie who was shaking a can of milk to spray over her cars engine. 

She explained that this helps to get her engine running. 
As she turned her engine on, her car stereo blasted out, 'I said a hip, hop, the hippie - the hippie / To the hip hip-hop, and you don't stop / The rock it to the bang-bang, boogie say "up jump" / The boogie to the rhythm of the boogie: the beat'. The 1979 hit, Rappers delight from the Sugarhill gang. 

I was then in a house attempting to take the front door apart looking for the key that had become wedged inside it. As I did this Scott one of my supervisors arrived and just told me he had another job for me after this and that I wouldn't be happy about it. 
I woke before finding out what it was. 



                       

Friday, 10 May 2013

Mc Orange fries

Last night I built a long rectangular wooden box on the front of my bicycle. It jutted out about ten feet and made it very difficult to ride. 
After a bit of practice I'd managed to get very fast as I peddled around a one way system. Looking above my head to the left, dark storm clouds gathered, to my right, bright sunny skies. 
I franticly rode faster away from the potential rain and as I did I could see before me a vision of McDonalds French fries.  

No ordinary fries, these were orange flavoured ones and the faster I peddled, the further they floated away from me. 
Eventually I arrived at the window of a drive through McDonalds and a blonde rather fat looking woman was in front of me. They had run out of the new special orange fries and as she waited for the next batch to be cooked she danced to music that only she could hear. 
This made her look as if she was having a fit but was hugely entertaining for onlookers. 


                       

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Mud, death and Dad

A mixed bag last night starting with myself and my friend Matt attempting the simple task of walking up a hill. 
As we walked my steps became more and more laboured and my legs began to feel extremely heavy. 
I turned to look at Matt who suddenly sank up to his neck as the street became a sea of mud. The mud then started to flow down hill sweeping Matt away with it. 
I held on to an overhanging branch of a tree and continued to struggle up hill against the torrent of thick flowing mud. 
I then arrived at Matt's house to find that he had showered and was in his dressing gown. We talked about what had happened and the pair of us just laughed out loud. 
I then woke up laughing. 

I was next at a very expensive London hotel along with a boy of about 18. We had the job of taking over from the police in guarding a room that was the scene of a murder. 
We were told not to allow anyone in two rooms along the end of a hallway but guests could use the toilet next to the rooms. 
Immediately two drunken females needing the toilet attempted to go into the murder scene. I ushered them out not before seeing into one room that had blood dripping from the ceiling and a smiley face painted in blood on the wall. The room had a cold dark feel to it and smelt of death. 

Finally I was at my mums house and going to work. My dad was there and I opened the front door to find that two feet of snow had fallen. A neighbours car was also blocking my exit from the driveway. 
Taking my keys from me, dad got in my car and reversed it out gently hitting the other car. He stopped in the middle of the street and handed me back my keys. 
I opened the drivers door to find a man had got in and was attempting to move it. 
In the calmest voice I said to him, "Get out of my car now". The man looked at me as if he was about to die, total fear on his face. 
I then woke up without knowing the outcome. 

              

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Together we are massive

A husband and wife team were trying to sell me a dog that they were saying was a pedigree breed. They had arrived at my house with the dog which was the size of a small pony. It was white and very hairy. 
I had no intention of buying the animal and despite informing the couple of this they were becoming very persistent in their attempts to sell it to me. 
They showed me some paperwork that disproved their claims of a pedigree background but they continued to press for a sale. 

In the end I just told them to go away and as I watched them walk off with the dog I could hear the song, 'Together we are beautiful', which was a hit for Fern Kinney in 1980.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Undercover Maximus

Last night I was watching TV when my good friend Martin appeared on the screen in the middle of a programme. He started talking to me as if he was in the room and that it was perfectly normal for him to be on my telly.
Martin was telling me all about his up and coming holiday and how much he was looking forward to having a break.

Martin asked me to take over his job for him during his absence which was to watch an Asian mans house as he suspected him to be up to no good.
I hid myself outside the house with Martins final words echoing in my head, "Don't get seen".
As I attempted to blend in a large group of people walked past the house and as they went by they all shouted, "Hello Maximus"!
The Asian man looked out of his window directly at me! Oops.


Monday, 6 May 2013

Jigsaw Gangster

Attempting to get to work for a meeting, I was walking through the streets with radio one DJ Scott Mills.
We climbed up the side of a building on some scaffolding and when at the top saw that there was a massive drop to a road below. It must have been about 100 feet to the busy traffic beneath us.
Scott said that we should hang onto a scaffold pole and then drop ourselves down. Foolishly I do as he suggests and then find that we are both hopelessly stuck and in danger of falling to our deaths.

I watch for a gap in the traffic below and just let go, closely followed by Scott. We land on our feet unharmed and discover that the floor is a vast jigsaw puzzle and that we are inside a building at our works meeting. The meeting involves having to put jigsaw pieces onto the floor to complete the puzzle.

I was then standing in the street as a spectator behind a metal barrier with hundreds of other people as a group of famous celebrities passed by.
I didn't recognise any of them until an old man in a sheepskin coat and trilby hat approached me.
He said to me, "You don't remember me do you? I used to be a right gangster back in the day and would visit your house when you were a boy".
I looked at the man and there was the faintest recognition that I knew him.

The man was cocky and arrogant, he waved and smiled at the crowd and gave me a wink as he walked away.


Sunday, 5 May 2013

Cannabis trick

I was setting off somewhere and had packed a suitcase. I wanted some cannabis and was waiting for it to be delivered but after growing tried of the prolonged delay, I set off.
I had left but I could then see the street outside my house where a man was running holding a huge cannabis plant in a tub. It was about 8 feet tall and he stopped outside my house, dropped the plant and it turned into several Poppy's growing out of the ground.
Just as this happened a cartoon policeman with white hair ran by and out of sight.
The Poppy's turned back into the cannabis plant and the man picked it up and ran to my house only to find I'd left.

For the second night running, excuse the pun, I dreamt about false legs.
I was delivering them to my neighbours as an anti burglary devise. My logic being that they could be placed in various locations on chairs to give the impression of someone being in should a burglar happen to glance through your window.
Clearly this was a stupid idea as all that would be seen were legs with no body attached, but my neighbours were taking them convinced it was a great idea.


Saturday, 4 May 2013

Leg less birthday

I started off with dreaming I was in bed alone and awake. To my left was a set of wooden stairs and I was aware that my cats were somewhere in the room but couldn't see them.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of white shoot up the stairs that startled me. I called for the cats but there was silence.
Suddenly a ghostly white figure drifted up the stairs again and I started to panic. Again I called out to the cats and felt something moving towards me under the quilt.
It moved and grabbed hold of my arm and started to shake me, panicking even more I began to scream out only for my wife to call out whilst shaking my arm to wake me from my dream.
I called out 'Ghost', as the realisation of my surroundings calmed my brain and I was able to make sense of it.

Next I was delivering a birthday card and present to my friend Lou, who's actual birthday it is today.
I crept into her house and in the hallway opened the door to the toilet and lifted the toilet seat to place her card there. I found that there were already a lot of cards there and then was greeted by another friend Bill. Bill was also creeping around as to not wake Lou delivering her present.

My present to Lou was a pair of artificial legs that I had wrapped and stood in the bathroom next to the toilet.
Just for clarification, Lou does have her own fully functioning pair of legs.
I was next at a house party of a man I don't know. I didn't appear to know any of the other guests either until I saw Lou sitting at at a table.
I then told her about my dream of being in her house and delivering her legs.
So just to clear this up, I was dreaming that I was telling someone about a dream I'd had about them.



Friday, 3 May 2013

Laboratory mummy

The initial part of my dream involved me getting off of a bus and finding a walking stick on the floor. Strangely I discovered one whilst out walking in a field yesterday and that has found it's way into my dream.
In my dream I picked it up and started using it and was aware that an old man was walking next to me. He gave me a look that said you don't need that it's mine, all without speaking a word.

Secondly I was in a very bright white lit room that I thought was a laboratory.
There was a clear plastic capsule with a man laying inside it. The lid was open and also clear plastic.
The man was strapped tightly so that he was only able to move his eyes and mouth. Panic was in his voice as he begged me to let him go.

Ignoring his desperate pleas for freedom I closed the lid and locked several clips shut. From a control panel I hit a succession of buttons and the capsule began to light up and make electrical fizzing sounds.
The man fell silent as his body fused into a mummified mass and the lights dimmed.


Thursday, 2 May 2013

Alien twin attack

One of those really random nights of dreaming last night. It started off with me in a room with my wife and I was on a computer.
I was getting messages from people I didn't know in the form of music clips, I clicked the decline button each time I received one.
I then heard the song, 'Walking on sunshine' by Rockers Revenge, a hit in 1982. I looked at at the screen and it was our friend Suki. I accepted the request and his face appeared on the monitor with him wearing a huge woolly hat smiling at me.

Next I was on a huge movie set and under attack from alien helicopters.
I would reach what looked like open fields and ran towards them only to smash into an invisible barrier which would be the limit of the film set.

I franticly ran around trying to avoid the helicopters which were now firing lasers at me and ran inside a building. Not safe inside I was now under attack from floating faint images of identical twins.
I began pointing my finger at them and firing a red laser beam which made them disappear.
I then saw two twin witches in black pointed hats one of which lifted up a hatch in the floorboards.
Within the floor was bird seed which I scooped up in my hands and started to throw at approaching twins. When the seed hit them they disintegrated.

Running back outside it was raining so hard that it knocked me over and I struggled to move under the torrent of water. I ran as fast as I could towards the open fields, ready to smash into the barrier again when I woke up.


Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Graveyard appliance

A brief scene from my nights sleep. It was night, dark but warm, I was walking through a graveyard in search of, I assumed a certain headstone.
The only thing being that none of the graves had any headstones, just slightly raised mounds of earth to indicate where they were.

I reached the perimeter wall to find a grave marked with a washing machine as a headstone.
All around the floor was rubbish and discarded household appliances and beyond the wall a man and woman shouted at each other in their front garden.
I looked around saddened by what I saw and walked away with my head hung low.


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