Saturday, 19 October 2013


Sat on the sofa last night dozing off, I felt someone slap my arse. I opened my eyes and saw Gardeners World was still on the TV. 
I nodded off again and this time I couldn't open my eyes or move. I could see everything in the room, including my wife sat next to me. 

I shouted from within but I made no sound or movement. 
Inside, I was screaming, but outwardly I was paralysed and silent. 
Eventually my eyes opened and I was awake. I'd been asleep for 20 minutes, I'd missed the end of gardeners World!

When I went to bed I dreamt that I walked into a room holding a pump action shoutgun. In the room was Biff, one of my work supervisors. 
There were two other men that I didn't know sat at a desk. 

One of the men picked up a telephone that was on the desk. I pointed the gun at his head and told him to hang up. 
Biff asked what I was doing, I replied, "You know I'm wanted for murder, nobody is alerting the cops". 

I ran out of the room into a field and called for my dog who came faithfully came running after me. 
Running further into the field I knew Biff had called the police, I could hear sirens and a helicopter overhead. 

I lent my back against a tree and using my arms and legs like a spider, I scaled up into the branches out of sight. I called my dog who in a single leap, landed in my lap. 
We both went to sleep and when I opened my eyes I was in bed. 

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