Saturday, 27 July 2013

Claudia Schiffer's B&B

I was at the home of a doctor who had invited me to his birthday party. I didn't know him but he was very friendly and happily introduced me to all if his family. 
He owned a small bed and breakfast that appeared to be in the middle of a housing estate. 

As he showed me around the B&B I saw a blonde female that looked very familiar. The doctor introduced me to her and said that she was model Claudia Schiffer and that she lived there. She was friendly and I handed the doctor my phone to take a cheesy photo of me and Claudia. 

Lastly I was attempting to go to the toilet but couldn't lock the door to the bathroom. It didn't help that the door was completely made of plain glass either. 
Every time I thought I'd managed to wedge the door shut it would swing open and someone would walk past. 
Finally confident that I'd locked it I dropped my trousers and sat on the pan. 

Rather unpleasantly as I attempted to leave the bathroom I noticed I'd had a very messy accident and my arms were covered in my own excrement. 
Horrified by this I tried to wash at the sink but the taps wouldn't work. 

My embarrassment intensified when friend and work colleague Leeza arrived to take me home. 
I followed her outside towards her car and any attempt on my part to engage her in conversation were met by silence and she totally avoided looking at me. 

In a car park her Volvo car had been blocked in and I offered to help her manoeuvre it out. She glared at me and said, "There is no way you are getting in my car in that state"! 

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