Tuesday, 11 June 2013

The Queen of toast

I was trying to get my mum back home. I'm unsure where we were but I flagged down a bus and secured us both a ride for only 10 pence. Bargain. 
There were limited seats so I stood in the isle facing a man who was smoking. Looking around at the rest of the passengers, most were also puffing away on cigarettes. Maybe that's why it was do cheap to travel.  

I said to the man before me to kindly keep his smoke away from me and he deliberately blew a mouthful of smoke into my face. 
Just as he did this we entered a dark tunnel throwing the bus into total darkness. As we emerged from the tunnel the smoking man was laying on the floor unconscious. I had a satisfied smile on my face. 

Next I was going to watch an open air standup comedy show in the street close by to my mums house. I was very surprised when the Queen and the late Queen mother both arrived at my mums front door. The Queen said to me, "One is here for the comedy show, would you make us some toast".
I rushed to the local cafe only to find it packed and everywhere I looked was rammed with people. 

I decided to take her majesty and her royal mother into my mums. It was a very odd sight to see them both sat in my mums modest living room munching on toast. 

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