Sunday, 30 June 2013
Fat boy slim. Destroyer of cake
I started off by being in the shower, an ordinary procedure but not one I usually have company doing.
Nigel from work was standing over the bath and was wrapping a bandage around my head. He continued to apply it until my entire head was covered and I couldn't see.
Next I was driving a van and I had four birthday cakes in the back. Two were in the shape of a blue Hillman Imp car and the other two had houses and a garden on the top. I was delivering them to my mums house where my wife was waiting for me.
I couldn't find a parking space outside the house so had to leave the van in the cul-de-sac just around the corner.
As I carefully balanced a cake in each hand with the intention to return for the other two, Tom from work, who has a striking resemblance to DJ Fat Boy Slim appeared.
He was smartly dressed in a suit and as I attempted to get past him he deliberately blocked my way and said, "I'm not moving".
I bumped into him causing some icing to dislodge on the cakes. I put them down and attempted to repair them but they started to fall apart. Tom stood firm with a stubborn look on his face.
I could see my wife standing at the entrance to my mums house waiting expectedly for the cakes. Annoyed that Tom had deliberately ruined them I smashed one of the cakes into his face quickly followed by the other.
I ran back to the van grabbed the remaining two cakes and smashed both in turn as hard as I could into Tom's smug face.
From my part of the World the cul-de-sac is known as a Banjo due to its shape.
Posted by Max Walsh
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