Friday, 1 March 2013

Lost in France in London

I was sat at a bar drinking a pint of beer, just to my left was a round table containing work colleagues. After sitting for the time it took me to consume my beer without anyone having spoken, I decided to go to the toilet.

Walking from the bar I found I was in a huge hotel and every door I looked at wasn't a toilet. This seemed to go on for ages, until I eventually found myself in the street.
I then started to wander hopelessly lost in London with the streets looking more like the roads surrounding my mums house.
I heard a horse approaching and when it got close to me it was a woman on a full size wooden rocking house and she was making the horse noises.

I walked off and then noticed that some tramps had started to follow me. Trying to shake them off I ducked into an alley only to find the horse rider. She was standing on her hands and was wearing skin tight leggings the same colour as the horse she had been riding. She said to me, "I am now the horse".

Lastly I'd woken up in my mums house only to be told that a female hairdresser had left her small child there and would be collecting it at 6pm.
Angry at this I attempted to call the woman but my phone would only play radio one every time I tried to dial out.

I then noticed mums back garden was a mud bath as people had been parking their cars in there. I went into the garden dropped to my knees and shouted at a woman from the next garden to put the fence up to stop anyone driving in.
Back in the kitchen I said to my mum, "Can you guess what singer I am?"
Looking bemused at me she shook her head.
"I'm Muddy Knees!"

I think I was referring to Muddy Waters, it was a real tumbleweed moment!

I woke up with the song, 'Lost in France' by Bonny Tyler in my head too.

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