Thursday, 31 January 2013

The not so great escape

I was Steve McQueen last night, not only that but staring in the epic 'The Great Escape' too.
There I was in the famous motorbike scene racing across fields and hills, as a voice over man described the events.
I took the bike up a really steep hill and the voice over man said, "The horse is struggling with that".
I looked down, the bike had gone and I was on a horse.

I was next at work and my wife was going to be late off so I went outside to wait for her. Upon entering the street, I saw a group of youths around a car. One of them kicked and smashed the headlights.
I shouted "Oi" and the offending youth ran off.
Grabbing his friends I told them if the lad didn't come back I'd arrest them all.
To my surprise this worked and the offender returned to the scene of his crime and I proudly handed him over to a passing police officer.
I pointed over to the car for the officer as I gave him the youth, only to see the car had vanished with just a few shards of glass left behind.

Lastly I was along with my wife on a number 62 bus heading towards my mums house.
There were small screens in the back of the chairs just like on a plane and we were watching a new episode of the hit US show, Heroes.
A boy sitting next to us removed his lower set of dentures and they had an i phone connector on the bottom of them.

Waiting to push the request bell I stood up knowing we needed the next stop.
It was at this point that I realised we were now on a plane and when we got off we had arrived not in Essex as expected but in Russia.

We walked out of the airport which looked just like an underground tube station and into the lobby of a hotel. We were handed room keys and we located our accommodation.
The room was sparse with two single beds and a cabinet. I needed the toilet so headed for the en suite. When I opened the door the shower was on and a jet of water hit me in the face which propelled me out of my sleep and awake.
I needed the toilet too.


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