Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Sleeping Chaplin

I was silent comedy film star of the 1930s Charlie Chaplin last night.
I was sitting fast asleep at a table in my mums back garden.

I was aware I was sleeping and wanted to wake but was struggling to do do.
This coincided with me actually being aware that I was asleep in bed and I too was trying to open my eyes.

As I finally woke I saw that as Charlie I had my left leg in plaster and would need a walking stick to aid my mobility.
Fortunately on the rim of the table was my famous Chaplin walking cane.
I peeled it from the table and got up happily waddling off in my trademark style into the distance.

At this point I opened my eyes and found myself in bed.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

You've been squashed Lisa!

Lisa Riley was the main focal point of my dream. I was engulfed in a very deep sleep last night and only have recognition of my brain activity just prior to waking.

Lisa for those of you unfamiliar with her, is a British actress, playing Mandy Dingle in a soap opera and was former presenter of 'You've been framed'.

I was in a vast room that had miles of circular tubes running all over the ceiling.
I had a plan to send Lisa back in time and I had worked out that I could achieve this by firing her through one end of the network of tubing. The theory being that when she emerged several miles along she would have picked up enough speed to have traveled through space and time.

Happy smiling Lisa popped herself feet first into the tube, waved, there was a loud bang and she vanished.
About four feet along from the entrance to the tube came a knocking and I heard Lisa shout, 'I'm stuck!'

Doh!


Monday, 29 October 2012

Ping pong Turtles

I was, along with my wife on some kind of tree house platform on a tropical island. All very nice and I was showing her some turtles that were native to the island.

The turtles started to lay eggs and as they came out I was measuring the circumference of them.
I explained to my wife that taking the eggs upon them being laid and subject to then being the correct size, they were used as ping pong balls.

I put this into practice by throwing them over the side of the treehouse. Looking over the edge to the floor below was a pile of smashed eggs! Oops, there goes that theory.

I was next looking at a flat for sale and met the estate agent outside the property.
There was a communal entrance and upon walking in, right in the middle taking up most of the entrance was an old red phone box.

The estate agent explained that the phone box would be mine if I bought the flat. The only trouble being the door opened out into the entrance of one of the other flats.
Having pondered this for a second, I decided there wasn't much I could do with the phone box and didn't buy it.

The phone didn't work either!



Sunday, 28 October 2012

Dancing Christmas Frog

I was cuddled up with my wife and a few other unknown people. All in our PJs and listening to records by The Jam.
My wife instructed that no one was to pass wind due to the close proximity of bottoms to faces.

Next I was back in my mums kitchen at a time she had a canary in a cage, I would have been around 15 at that time.
Lorraine from work was also there and she was feeding the bird. The floor was around two feet deep with bird seed and so Lorraine in her wisdom decided to just scoop up the seed and filled the cage with it burying the poor canary in the process.

Next I was on an alien planet deep in space as a construction worker along with Daniel from work, who is affectionally known as Special D and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I went into an elevator and one of Arnie's boots was in there. I tried it on but it was massive! The elevator got stuck and had to crawl out of the top onto the floor above and I just curled up and slept.
As I woke to write a note about this on my phone, I saw a cartoon green long legged frog in a red Christmas hat dancing around my bedside lamp!

Finally I was riding an invisible horse along the street at night. I was floating in the air in the seated position but nothing was beneath me.
Ahead of me I saw Garath and Craig from work and they were policemen.
As I approached a police car was hit by a petrol bomb and a riot broke out.

Seeing the police outnumbered I helped out by grabbing Craig's pepper spray and randomly spraying everyone that moved. Great fun.


Saturday, 27 October 2012

Peace to the World

The first of my wife's two appearances started with her and our good friend Lee Ann both very drunk and attempting to pour a pint of beer over my head.
Despite my protests both found it very amusing in their intoxicated condition.

I then was dreaming that Bear, our ginger cat was biting my big toe off I was screaming in pain and my wife shook me to wake me up. An activity she says didn't happen! So I'm guessing that was part of the dream too. Damn you twisted brain!

Next I was in my Nan's old house where her kitchen had been filled with rabbit hutches.
There were animals everywhere and two of the rabbits had given birth to Geckos which was odd.
I spent ages trying to catch the tiny lizards that squeaked like a dogs toy when picked up.

I was next chatting with one of my supervisors from work who was telling me how much he loved eating burgers.
As he spoke I saw a small child run across the road narrowly missing get hit by an old Hillman Imp car.

Lastly in my slumbered adventure, I was bringing peace and harmony to the ghetto of an inner London suburb.
I managed to get old and young to interact and there were people sitting on street corners playing cards and chatting. All mixing as a multi coloured pot of love and good will to their fellow man.

Yeah I know it sounds like a Michael Jackson song, but it's just a dream.

Friday, 26 October 2012

Celebrity shed

I started off my being in a huge sports stadium with actor Bill Maynard, (of Greengrass fame from TV's Heartbeat), he was organising the seating arrangements.
One of the other spectators accidentally put their hand into my glass of orange juice.
I may have let it go if they hadn't 'accidentally' did it a second time!
Bill told me to calm down, but I wasn't happy!

I tried to write some notes on my phone but my wife kept stopping me. I then realised that I was actually dreaming this, then woke up and wrote some notes.

Next I was in a garden shed with dead punk rocker & ex Sex Pistol, Sid Vicious. Sid was helping me to put in a new door which rather dispels his reputation a bit.
Sid became annoyed when I told him I was intending to use an old shower screen as the new door, explaining that it would be more of a window than a door.

Finally I was with Trevor, a friend of my wife's. We were in a massive open top army jeep driving along the high street in the Essex town of Barking.
Trevor asked me to open his wallet that was on the dash and take out his dry cleaning ticket.

When I did there were hundreds of tickets and I couldn't find the one he wanted. Trevor decided that he would just go into the dry cleaners and tell them he'd lost his ticket.

I waited outside but Trevor never returned.
I wonder if he ever got his clothes back?


Thursday, 25 October 2012

I can't feel my legs!

I began my sleeping journey in New York which was nice.
I was taking a coach trip through the American city and Warren a supervisor from my job was in charge of the excursion.

As I became hungry I decided to boil up some potatoes in a saucepan on the seat next to me.
Warren came and looked at the spuds bubbling in the pot and started laughing out loud.

I was then on my laptop trying to clean my teeth. Sounds odd but I managed to touch the screen and remove a brush, loaded with toothpaste and clean my teeth!

Lastly I was in my Uncle Ron's silver Vauxhall Vectra, which he doesn't own. I was fitting a widescreen TV into the back but had removed the seats.
Uncle Ron wasn't totally impressed and told me to get out of his car.

I got out and wondered why Ron was staring at me.
I looked down and saw that I had no legs, instead I was floating in mid air at the height I would be if my legs were present!


Wednesday, 24 October 2012

George the unleaded sheep

I started off by recreating the air speed World record flight using a tiny model airplane.
I was conducting this in my mums living room and held the plane in the air making the appropriate aircraft sounds like a child with a toy.
I landed the plane and the front wheels fell off. Mum was less than impressed, even when I told her it reached a top speed of 400mph.

Next I was hanging onto the bottom of a helicopter as it flew to America. The pilot was a Chinese man and as we flew, shots fired past my head.
Finally landing in America I ran along a freeway as parts of a bridge were carried on huge lorries.

Lastly I was at my old flat in Skegness in Lincolnshire. I had my current car which was flashing that it needed fuel.
Also a Sheep called George was in the boot and he required fuel too.
I drove George into the nearest petrol station and pulled up at the diesel pump.

I was not only on the wrong side for my petrol cap, but George needed unleaded fuel! As I pondered this problem, George turned into a man and grabbed two bars of chocolate.


Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Desert island slipper

A direct link between what I was watching on TV and the initial part of my dream.
I'd been viewing a programme about an American female boot camp and started off dreaming of being in a kitchen watching the inmates cooking and thinking I'd not be happy eating it.

Next I needed the toilet so woke up to go, I thought anyway and was fumbling for the light switch in the outside toilet.
Knowing this not to be the case, I realised this was still the dream when I found the switch and lit up a very cold damp room. The toilet pan had a massive spiders web spun across it!
I looked up to see Steph from work walk past the door and give me glance but she didn't speak.

Lastly I was actor comedy Stephen Mangan, and I was castaway on a desert island and wearing a dressing gown and carpet slippers. Sat on the golden sandy beach I had a hand written list of all my fellow castaways. One of which was named as Friday.
Looking around me I saw a black man and asked him his name to which he replied Friday. I ticked his name on the list.

I then was approached by a woman who offered me a steak and onion sandwich. I ran into the water and jumped onto a jet ski loosing one slipper.
I rode for hours, eventually landing home on another beach and finding my lost slipper.
I ran to my house and found my wife sitting with Christmas dinner ready for me. We hugged and kissed.


Monday, 22 October 2012

Cops, junkies, cheese & flying

As I fell to sleep I seemed to start dreaming immediately and continued to do so all night.
I had two plain clothes CID officers arrive at my house to arrest me.
One was young and naive looking and it was he that led me to the car.

Not handcuffed or even held by the cop I walked to one side of the car as he opened the door on the other side.
I bent down as he got in and then turned and ran away laughing at his stupidity.

I next was watching as a husband entered the bathroom and saw his junkie wife in the bath. Her face haggard and thin from drug abuse. He pushed her head under the water and calmly watched her drown.
He then took his two children to school and sang, 'I wanna be like you' from the Jungle book as they walked.

I was then working in a cheese factory, feeding in ingredients to a massive machine.
I was aware that there was a dead body under the floor but chose to ignore the fact.
Looking at my forearms I notice they are covered in blisters and are scabby.

Finally I was in my old home town of Dagenham. When I say in, more above as I am able to levitate and fly above the shops and houses.
Just by thinking about flying, I was able to rise up and float in the sky.



Sunday, 21 October 2012

Human crane & brown bags

I was a crane operator and was climbing the hundreds of feet up into the control booth to start work.
The only difference was that the crane was a giant me and I entered my head and sat at the controls looking out of my eyes.
I moved myself around like a giant robot, it was great fun.

Next I was in bed and my wife had a saucepan lid on her head. Next to my wife was an old boss of mine that was fast asleep snoring.
Really unhappy at this as I never did like him I started to elbow him to stop the noise.
At this point I woke and saw that it was my wife snoring!

Finally and rather sadly my wife and myself were at a house because a baby had died.
The parents were destroyed by grief and we calmly informed them that we were packing the entire contents of their house up.
We systematically went through the whole of the property and wrapped everything into brown paper bags.


Saturday, 20 October 2012

Danger UXB Maximus

I was simply dynamite last night.
Basically I was able to use my body as a explosive devise and detonate at will.

I approached various people and stood amongst them before using my mind to explode my body into a human bomb with fatal results.

Once I had detonated I was able to reform and continue my explosive devastation to other unsuspecting people.
This happened for some time and hundreds of people were left dead and dying in a trail of destruction and chaos.

I do have a headache this morning, but I think that's down to dehydration rather than exploding.



Friday, 19 October 2012

Videos & donkeys

Starting off in a hospital ward last night along with Paul my supervisor from my job.
There was an sense of holiday fever in the air as Paul was finishing an hour early to go on his summer vacation.

I had organised a running race but was told by Paul to cancel it as no one was interested and he excitedly told me about his forthcoming foreign holiday.

Having postponed the race, Kalaum my work colleague arrived in full running kit along with the number 31 on his chest.
I just look at him and said, 'Too late dude'.

I'm next witnessing the emptying and dismantling of a food supermarket in readiness for it being changed into a VHS video store.
Before my eyes the store is almost ready and I wander around looking at the latest video releases.

I hear the sound of a horn blowing from outside, upon investigating I see a pack of hunting dogs running past along with a miniature donkey with huge ears.
Following behind are the huntsmen in their smart red jackets but they are not on horseback but on BMX bikes.


Thursday, 18 October 2012

Steam book

I was travelling on a steam train through the English countryside.
Whilst doing so I was listening to an audio book. Not sure what the story was exactly about but John Cleese was the man character.

I finished the story and disembarked at a station. As I stepped off I was greeted by John Cleese in an army officers uniform.
He saluted me and winked, then in a long descending line of appearance, was every member of the cast.
I walked along the line of actors, writers and musicians, all of which I congratulated on a great book.

I was next walking up some stairs in total darkness going to bed aware I had to pick some friends up from the airport in a few hours so desperately needed to sleep.
At the top of the stairs I heard work colleague Claire, I couldn't see her, she was unhappy at how she was being treated by our supervisors and proceeded to tell me about it for hours.

I didn't get to sleep and only had an hour left before having to leave to collect my friends so I put the TV on.
I watched presenter Denise Van Outen on a children's show. She was heavily pregnant and wearing a skin tight leather cat suit.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

We are not amused!

Lots going on last night, not surprising when I had 10 hours sleep!
I was attending my older sisters birthday party and handed her a wrapped present on a paper plate.
She was less than impressed when she discovered it was a ham sandwich, hence the plate. She said nothing, took a bite of it and then started to choke.

Continuing with family, my Son was staying at my house and I returned to find that he had left a dirty cup in the sink. I was enraged with this and threw him out. Bit harsh, but it doesn't take long to wash up a cup!

Next I was with my wife and I was Superman, the Dean Cain version from TVs New Adventures of superman. I stood there hands on hips with my cape flowing.
I had surprised my wife by buying her a shop that sold curtains. Again I was failing to impress my family.

Lastly I was a policeman but on attachment to America.
I had been given a car with no engine and had to peddle it like a child's toy car.
I arrested a fat balding man who sweated profusely. I took him into an interview room and read his file which said, 'He never confesses'.

I asked a small Chinese man to blow cigarette smoke into his face and the criminal was singing like a canary when I gave him a smoke. He even confessed to some crimes he hadn't committed.


Tuesday, 16 October 2012

A to Z of odd

The fear of beards is known as Pogomophobia, my wife's attempts at waking me holding a picture of a weirdy beardy in front of my face, amused her greatly!

On with my dreaming and I was at a family party for my birthday and everyone had given me cash.
The party was going well and my wife and myself chatted happily whilst music played and people danced.

In the middle of or conversation, Jim our supervisor from work appeared and interrupted us saying, 'If you guys don't put some information on the Computer you'll be sacked'.

I was next in London with work colleague Mildred and I was showing her my note book and that I hardly ever write in it. She rang the police and told them this. Snitch.

Lastly I carrying a huge book and heading towards a pub. As I approached it two boys on bicycles rode towards each other and when their front tyres hit, they morphed into one and the other and then passed through and reemerged out the other side.

I entered the pub placed my book on a table and noticed the title was the A to Z of famous people.
Queuing at the bar I notice everyone in the place is drunk including the staff.
My wife enters the bar and she is carrying a book, she accidentally stands on the toes of a man.
We order a drink and sit down to read.

Monday, 15 October 2012

Quick change artist

Very brief from last nights/mornings sleep.
I was awoken with a start by my dog today so got pulled abruptly from my dream.

I was at my neighbours house chatting and drinking tea at the kitchen table with him.
Looking at him I noticed that he suddenly had his wife's clothes on. Rubbing my eyes in disbelief I looked again and his wife was sitting there.

Another double take and he was back again and in his own clothes.



Sunday, 14 October 2012

Drills

Deep into my slumber and possibly beyond any visual imagery, I could hear some drilling. It was resemblant of heavy machinery in the distance and was disturbing my rest.

The volume increased as my brain started to attempt to fathom out what the sound was.
I could feel myself coming round and as I slowly opened my eyes I could see an orangey fuzz before me.

Our ginger cat sat on my chest purring at full steam was the sight that greeted me.


Saturday, 13 October 2012

Bingo plonker!

As I begin my weekend of night shifts, my dream, as is often the case was somewhat brief as I woke from my comatose state.

I was walking along a row of shops carefully scanning them as I passed.
I reached one that had neon lights filling the window and the sign, 'The 159 Bingo Club' flashing in its centre.

I looked into the doorway to see the actor John Challis, who played Boycie in the comedy show Only Fools & Horses starring back at me.

I started to laugh and as I drew level with him and shouted out, 'You Plonker!'


Friday, 12 October 2012

Drunken decorator

I was watching a documentary with my wife and our work colleague Lee was the presenter. It was about him decorating a house.
Whilst out Lee got drunk and picked up three women and took them back to the house. I commented that Lee's wife would kill him when she saw the programme.
Drunkenly rolling around the house with the girls he gets covered in blue paint and the decorating is ruined.

I was next sat in my car, again with my wife as we watched TV presenter Jonathan Ross walk around the car as he presented a travel show from a tropical island.
As he passes my window I stick two fingers up at him.

I lastly find myself in the house of a Family from Northern England. There are seven children, all boys that want to ask their father about his time away at war. The father is sat rocking in a chair with wild staring eyes.
All the boys have moustaches and look like mini versions of the dad.

They all start to sing to their mother about asking about the war.
I ask the father for them and he snaps out of his stare and hugs his boys smiling.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Abusive Sky man

There are times when my dreams are very disturbing and upsetting. Last night being once such occasion.
I will omit the first part part of the dream.

It was Christmas and myself and my dad were both dressed in suits and looking very smart. We went to the neighbours house, knocked and waited but no one was in.
Just happy to be with my dad, we stood there ages just chatting and laughing.

Next in my mums house a man had come to install Sky TV. He had masses of oversized outdated electrical equipment and continually swore when it wouldn't work.
None of it resembled a Sky box and I looked on in bemusement as he shouted obscenities and became increasingly angry.

The last part of my dream involved me having the ability to float off the ground in slow motion and perform summersaults. Impressive but no one took any notice!
I followed people along the street and levitated in front of them, but nothing!

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Disabled pigs & toilet art

Always nice to see my dad in my dreams. Last night he was in need of the toilet, which transpired once again that I really did.
I pointed to the far end of a train platform to where the toilet was and dad walked off towards it.
When he returned he said that he was worried about the children playing out in the street.
I don't have any children, so not sure what he meant. At this point I woke needing the loo.

Next I was with the help of my dog, training obedience to a chicken and four Guinea pigs. One of the pigs only had one eye. My dog was over excited and caused the chicken to panic and the class fell into disarray.

At my mums house I was in the toilet and she still had the old style high cistern with a chain pull.
Standing on the toilet pan I was painstakingly painting a plastic carrier bag that was on top of the cistern.

I then went into the living room where a documentary was on TV about an African tribe in the rain forest.
All the men were naked and had crocodile shaped penises.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Nettle man

I had arrived in the middle of nowhere on a motorbike and was enjoying a solitary picnic in the sunshine.
After a short time an annoying bare chested man approached me holding a bunch of stinging nettles.

The man wanted to rub the nettles all over me and watch my reaction.
I walked away from him but he kept following me trying to rub the nettles on me.

I became irritated with his persistence and finally snapped by punching him in the face knocking him unconscious.
The temptation not reek revenge was too much and I covered the man head to foot in nettles.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Captive audience

I was in a class room along with a supervisor from my work called Dominic.
He handed me a red folder and told me to take it to a different room.
Not listening to him properly I walked out and then came back.
When he asked me if I'd been to the other room I lied and said I had.

Dominic didn't believe me as I was still holding the red folder.
I set off again and walked outside across some water on stepping stones.

I reached a brick wall and it opened before me. Entering I found myself in a conference and it was dark and warm. The speaker was so dull I started to fall asleep.
Getting up to leave I approached the brick wall but the hole had gone and I was trapped inside.
I heard the voice of Dominic saying, "You can't leave until its finished"

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Crisps & wee

Not for the first time I was a bag of crisps. (Flavour unknown). This time sat on an armchair at the window of the first floor to my mums bedroom.
Along with several other packets of crisps also on armchairs ready for my mum to give the go for a race to begin.

Next I had apprehended a very tall skinny girl and was attempting to restrain her but she was wriggling like mad. Eventually I had her bent over in an arm lock and she was crying out in pain.
My friend Lee Ann came over to the girl, bent down to her face and whispered, 'I'm going to hurt you'.

Suddenly a male that was also being restrained, broke free and punched me in the ribs. I woke up and oddly had an ache in my side.

Lastly needing the toilet as I slept I dreamt that I was using a Sofa bed as a toilet. Completely soaking the sofa I then attempted to cover the mess using sheets which all soaked up the wee as I did so!


Saturday, 6 October 2012

Hell on Earth

Initially I was the Prime Minister of England. Clearly an adventurous one as I was involved in rally driving across the countryside.
There was a part if the course that crossed a busy carriageway and I smashed into various motorists whilst crossing it.
On the other side of the road was a steep hill and Shish from work was there handing out 35mm films for cameras.

Next I found myself in a cul de sac surrounded by hundreds of children. Each one of them was the worse case in bad behaviour. They were swearing at me, punching me, screaming and shouting and smashing windows and cars.
Some were carrying knives and others had baseball bats.

It was total hell. Sat in the middle of the road on a deck chair was football player Robbie Savage.
I approached him and he just looked at me and said, "Get me out of here!"

Friday, 5 October 2012

Cheggers plays pizza

I had walked into a pizza takeaway and decided to play a fruit machine whilst waiting for my food.
After only putting in £3 I won £55,000! I got three slips of paper from the machine that I took to the counter.

Working behind the counter was 'entertainer' Keith Chegwin, who painstakingly checked the paper I gave him which whilst he was doing do turned into three mens ties. Before he confirmed I had won, I woke needing the toilet!

Next my dad was drinking whiskey and changing into work clothes to help me move house. I left dad and my wife arranging the furniture and I concentrated on making sure all the electrical cables from the TVs were not mixed up. I placed them into plastic carrier bags.

Lastly via a three way video link between myself my mum and work colleague Stu, I was helping Stu chose a pair of new shoes.
Stu was in the shop, my mum was in my house eating pepperoni pizza and I was somewhere else.

The shop assistant was very serious and got annoyed because my mum had a fit of the giggles and kept pointing her camera at her pizza.
In the end I switched the video link off as mum was laughing so much.

My dad never drank whiskey and my mum hates pizza.
I'm not the biggest fan of Keith Chegwin.




Thursday, 4 October 2012

Drug dealing hottie

I was going to a first floor flat to buy some drugs. I was with a couple of other people but didn't recognise any of them.
As we got to the front door everyone was saying that the woman who lived at the flat was really hot. A woman was agreeing too, so I was expecting good things.

After ringing and knocking for ages getting no reply I was about to leave when the door opened downstairs and someone started to walk up.
The female was pushing a pram and was totally smashed, completely off her head.

She was good looking but wasn't at her best. Her eyes were almost closed and she looked a mess. She handed me a bunch of cannabis joints, all of which were wrapped in clear plastic so I could see the contents.
I laughed and commented on how rubbish they were and left with them without paying.

I would like to condone the use, selling or promotion of drugs of any kind.
Just say no kids.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Remote testicles

I began by riding a huge horse that was so high I used a step ladder to mount it.
It was magnificent grey belonging to my wife I I proudly cantered into the historic Northamptonshire market town of Oundle, where prizes were being handed out by our friend Lou from a market stall.

A small trophy was given to another friend, Vicky and when she and my wife looked at it, they both broke out in uncontrollable fits of laughter.
The trophy was meant to be a horse and rider but the rider resembled the shape of a penis.
Sat on a chair was a siamese cat that also started to laugh and fell off the chair.

Aware that I was rather warm in the night I recall throwing the quilt off my body and then drifting back to sleep.
I was then naked and using my testicles to change the TV channels, adjust the heating controls and remotely switch the lights on and off.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Fake films & cocktail umbrellas

I had stolen a Lithuanian mans car and was driving it very fast along Lincoln Road in Peterborough.
The man had tried to sell me some fake DVDs, so I took his car.

Getting out of the car and onto Becontree underground station I saw my mum on the opposite platform on a train. She waved as the train left the station.
My wife then appeared and we tried to walk through hundreds of hostile football fans.
One stopped us who was behaving aggressively, but let us past saying, 'That's Mick's daughter, let them go'.

Next I find myself on a beach carrying a blanket with a hole in the bottom and cocktail umbrellas keep falling out.
A jet plane flies overhead so low it shakes the ground.
I see my friend Gary Potter who is pushing a pram with a black baby in it that looks about 4 but is the size of a baby.

I lastly attend hospital for an appointment and see the female doctor I always see.
She comes out and asks me why I'm there. I explain that she asked to see me and she puts her coat on and walks out.

Monday, 1 October 2012

Homeland Dad

Not for the first time I was dreaming that I was dreaming.
I laid there waiting for something to happen but realised I was dreaming that I was just asleep!

Moving on I was at a lovely serene lake area and was on holiday with my dad. My dad was actor Damian Lewis, from the TV show, Homeland.
We looked into the lake and it was full of giant frogs the size of cats swimming on their backs.

Damian/dad, walked away to go back to our hotel and descended some steps into the lake up to his waist.
Finding this highly amusing, I laugh uncontrollably and fall to the floor.
My actor father annoyed at getting wet and at my hysterical laughter, kicked me hard in the head knocking me over.

I return to the hotel and start to pack my clothes, adamant that I'm leaving. Damian enters and tells me he is sorry but it's too late, I cry and walk out.


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