Wednesday, 21 November 2012

How to evict a naked midget

There seemed to be a work theme last night, I began by fitting a huge steel frame structure with another man. This was made all the more difficult as we were working in thick mud.

I was then delivering hot cooked roast dinners. I attended a house and the family were excited about going on holiday. The mother was somewhat flirty with me much to the embarrassment of her children.

Next I was converting my mums house, fitting new windows and an extension out the back into a garage.
A knock at the door revealed a work colleague I affectionately call numb nuts.
Numb nuts asked for a cup of tea and informed me I had squatters in the garage.
Running in the garage I discovered two midget men who were naked.
Not caring for their lack of attire myself and Numb nuts forcibly throw them into the street.

Lastly I was in my mums living room playing a board game with my wife and my step Son, my step Son was eight years old and drinking beer from a silver tankard. He was very drunk.
We all decide to go to the off licence to buy more drink, I walk out of the house carrying a full size stereo.
My wife doesn't understand why I haven't got my i pod and explains the pitfalls of my oversized music player.

We arrive at the off licence and my stereo has transformed into a rotary clothes dryer. The off licence has no alcohol and only sells road traffic cones?


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