Saturday, 23 June 2012

Bob Monkhouse's standup soup

I was watching Bob Monkhouse do a standup routine, he had a tux on and was cracking out his usual jokes.

The only difference being was that he was eating a bowl of minestrone soup.
He was also being watched by his Son who Bob wants to follow on his career path.
His Son was explaining that he wanted to be a vice squad cop and Bob was very unhappy at this.

I'm next at a house party, no idea who's party or house but it's going well and I'm having fun.
I have no shoes on and I'm sat watching people enter the house. Each person entering walks over a large white fake fur rug and kicks it as they do so.

I then fall asleep but I'm woken by a small monkey that is whooping in my face. I slap it on the head and it turns off like an alarm clock on snooze.

I lastly walk naked into a shower room wearing just some body armour. I turn on the water and jump into the air, floating I summersault several times before landing.
In walks my Landlord who asks me about some broken and missing tiles.

I explain that it's because of damp and he is happy with this and then shows me a black E Type Jaguar that he says I can have if I know how to repair it.

Not knowing a thing about repairing cars I lie so that I can have the car of my dreams.
Despite it being the wrong colour and a left hand drive.



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