Thursday, 29 December 2011

Magic orange, tu tu & talking baby

My wife and I are creeping around Newcastle trying to remain undetected. I've never been to the city, so no idea why we were there but after a while it turned into my home town in Essex. We decide to get a room as its getting late but as we walk in, its a police cell!
I'm then in a large factory where Jeremy Clarkson is loading bags of cement on top of me as I lie on a sofa. The bags all have perfect holes in the middle of them so fit over my head. I'm weighed down by them and covered in dust.
I manage to release myself and walk around the factory, I pass an MG sports car that has been sprayed purple, windows and wheels, the lot.
I then hear my work colleague Derek using a megaphone to shout at everyone to go into the canteen for a magic show.
I walk in and the tables are piled high with toilet rolls. I take a seat and wait for the show to start.
I hear the magician announcing himself but can't see him. In front of me is an orange floating in the air and the voice is coming from the fruit.
Slowly the orange expands and morphs into a man in a skin tight orange body suit.
He has no feet, just multi coloured socks dangling where his feet should be. The socks appear to get caught in the wind and are sucked into a small crack in the wall. The orange magic man slowly gets sucked into the wall like a deflating balloon.
Everyone claps and throws toilet rolls at the wall.
Finally I am in the street in a white suit that is not completed and a woman is measuring me and making alterations. With her is a Jack Russell dog that is wearing a pink Tu Tu. The dog is able to walk on its back legs like a ballerina.
The woman also has a tiny baby in a pushchair, the baby is able to talk in an adults voice and hold intellectual conversations with passers by.
No surprise that the talking baby and dancing dog are attracting a large crowd and my Tailor is somewhat distracted.
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