Friday, 19 December 2014

Girl in a box

Carrying on from the box theme, last night I started off by being at a hotel, I'd totally forgotten to take any clothes and the ones I was wearing were starting to smell. 

To combat this, I went into the shower fully clothed and washed myself and them in one operation. As I emerged dripping wet I saw two boys in my room. 

They were trying to hide something in the wardrobe and I pushed them out of the way to see. Laying inside a cardboard box with a clear plastic front, was a life size doll. 

The doll was fixed to the inside of the box with plastic coated wire ties and the head and arms were not attached to the body. When I looked closer, the doll was real and had been dismembered. 

I looked around at the two boys just in time to see them running by out of the door. 


Thursday, 18 December 2014

Lost in London

Along with a guy I didn't know, I was in the centre of London and on route to Liverpool to watch a football match. We had lots of time before our train and so decided to go for a walk. Unfortunately I lost sight of the guy I was with and became hopelessly lost. 

I could still here him talking however, he was saying how stupid it was of me to get lost as I am from London, he was actually starting to annoy me when I spotted a large cardboard box on the floor. I picked it up and it appeared empty as it was very light. 

I continued to walk, still being annoyed by the voice of the guy I had lost, ŵhen I saw a woman with a child. They were being pestered by an Asian looking man, he was making very improper suggestions towards the woman. She was trying to be polite to him but he wasn't going away. 

Partly angry at the voice still taunting me for being lost and the Asian man not leaving the woman be, I ran at him in a rage. I smashed the cardboard box into his face knocking him over and shouted, "Come on then, you want some of me?!"
 I tried to kick the man but my cardboard box got in the way and for some reason I wasn't letting it go. 

The Asian man thought better of fighting a crazy cardboard box welding maniac, and fled. The woman when I looked was running off up the street with her child. 


Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Red hot poker

I woke with such a start today from what was in effect a very short dream. No idea where I was, I think I was laying down when I heard a female voice from behind me. 

She said, "Right, bend over I'm sticking a hot poker up your bum". Such was my immediate alarm and distress at this impending violation of my body, that I woke up thankful of finding myself safe in my bed. 


Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Night life

The setting for last nights dream was unknown, I was in the darkness, outside and it was warm. I think I was either in a bush or hidden in trees or similar. 

I was armed with a pair of night vision binoculars and was scooping for wildlife. There was total silence all around me and nothing, not even a mouse was stirring. 

I remained like this for what seemed hours until I eventually realised I was looking at the window in my bedroom. 

The question is, was I lying awake or was that part of the dream? Maybe it was a mixture of the two.  


Monday, 15 December 2014

Australian assassin & toothpaste wee

An Austrailian teenage boy was laying on a rooftop with a sniper rife and had it pointed at the street below. He lined up a random target and took them out with a single shot, the ensuing chaos made it difficult to shoot other targets, but he managed to kill another four people before deciding to leave. 

The boy ran on a slope that circled the building and as he decended, armed police ran up the slope. The boy had left the rife on the roof and by just standing still, the police ran straight past him. He almost reached the bottom before being caught by one of his teachers. Fortunately they just told him to go home as their was a sniper on the roof. 

I then as often dreampt I was going to the toilet, which normally means I need to pee. I stood over the toilet and instead of wee, toothpaste came out! It was red, blue and white striped too, and due to its minty flavour, tingled slightly. 

Lastly I was approaching a building that I was aware that a lorry had overturned outside of earlier. There was no crashed lorry present but a hole in the road that was lorry sized. I was holding a large folder under my arm that was my personal development portfolio, something I'd completed many years ago at work. 

I was looking for my supervisor Mike, who for unknown reasons had asked me to bring it to him to inspect. Inside I was waiting outside in the corridor to a large hall, it was full of new recruits and a huge table of cakes were next to me for when they came out. 

Standing next to me were, Pipi and Trinder, we all looked at the cakes and then looked at each other. Within seconds they were gone, I stuffed two in my mouth and as many as I could in my pockets. The other two did the same. 


Sunday, 14 December 2014

Top secret, shoes & whores

To start with I was walking towards my mums house, something I dream of frequently. My companion on this occasion was a lady of the night, I knew this because my brain had her wearing stockings, a short leather skirt and she was of course swinging her handbag. 

As I approached ever nearer to my childhood home, I was becoming very concerned how I was going to explain to my mum why I'd bought a prositute home. 

Fortunately upon reaching my destination, she had vanished and I found myself on the landing between my old bedroom and that of my sisters. Piled high blocking my door were hundreds of shoes. 

I kicked them all into my sisters room, laughing as I did, knowing they would be in trouble for the mess. 

Lastly I was in a very dark room on my own when friend and work colleauge Mildred came in with a group of people. It was too dark to make out who they were. 

Mildred said she had to show a video to the group and it contained top secret information about work. 
I then was able to make out supervisor Sharon who told me I'd have to leave. I started to yawn and drift off to sleep. As I did I said, "I've seen it, it's no secret" 


Saturday, 13 December 2014

Dirty protest

I appeared to be guarding a man who was sat in a cell. The normal concrete, four square walls with a metal door. I was outside of the cell but the door was open, not really sure why this was required and I couldn't just shut the door. 

With me was a nurse, dressed in white with the old style nurses hat. I watched the man for a while and got bored and started to chat to the nurse, when I glanced back at the man, he had smeared his own shit all over the walls. I approached him and asked why he had done this. His reply was, "You are a c**t!"

With this the nurse entered, spoke something I didn't hear to the man and he suddenly started singing. The scene was rather odd. A man covered in his own excrement in a cell singing to a nurse. 


Friday, 12 December 2014

Tree art by dame Judy

I was in a forest clearing watching various different people cutting trees. They wasn't cutting them down, but trimming branches and creating them into different sculptures. 

Some were using chain saws and some, such as actress Dame Judy Dench, were using hand saws to make their art. After hours of work, a whistle blew and everyone stopped to present their creations. 

There were various animals and imaginative carvings and Dame Judy stood proudly next to her tree which she had basically just cut the branches off and left it as a long pole. 

Amazingly hers won and everyone looked on in a state of disbelief. Clearly it was fixed for her to win and the others walked off in disgust. 


Thursday, 11 December 2014

Curry and battleships

I was with my wife in a restaurant at some kind of either birthday party or stag do, I wasn't able to establish which or if even that was the occasion. The only other person I could recognise was friend and work colleague, Lee Ann. She was tucking into a huge plate of garlic bread. Everyone else was eating curry. 

There was a man at her table that was being force fed alcoholic drinks and was becoming very ill looking. As I watched him have drink after drink poured into him, I became drunk from just looking at him. I stood up and fell over, announcing to my wife that we really needed to leave. 

We then walked out of the room and found ourselves high up on a battleship. The vessel was huge and we began to plot a route down to escape. There wasn't any proper footing and we gingerly climbed down. As we descended, I became sober, being completely sober by the time we reached the lower deck. 

I was then walking down the street close to my mums house when I saw a canvas bag of workman's tools in the road. I headed over to them and saw my dad also moving towards the bag from the oppersite direction. We met at the bag, scooped up the tools and continued to mums house. 

As we walked a group of men on the other side of the street started saying that we had stolen the tools and that they would call the police. Dad looked over at me and smiled, he said, "Don't worry Son, they can't prove anything".  


Wednesday, 10 December 2014


Get in, it may have only been 4 hours of sleep after a night shiftz, but it was a total and uninterrupted sleep with no dreaming. 

I actually feel refreshed. 


Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Steam roller

Along with my wife we were on a day out and arrived at a field. Housed within the field was a huge steam roller, I was having a rude on it as a treat. A woman with a clipboard greeted us and pointed out that due to fading light we would have to get on board right away. 

My wife was extremely organised and had with her a change of clothes as she knew we would get dirty during the ride. I was stressing as I hadn't thought of this and didn't want to get my clothes ruined and was being pressured to get on the steam roller. As I looked at the rear of it, I saw that it had car reversing lights and indicators, and a number plate that read 175. 

When I was a child my dad bought me a working model of a steam roller. 




Monday, 8 December 2014

Blind, deaf & burgers

I was on the seafront at the Lincolnshire resort of Skegness, somewhere I used to live over 15 years ago. I was walking through one of the many stalls and shops set out on the street when I came across a man who was clearly blind as he had a white stick and was feeling where he was going. 

As I tried to walk passed him he started singing out loud at me, I attempted to move but he was following me despite not being able to see me. I wanted him to leave me alone and so I just shouted at him, "I'm sorry I am deaf!"  
With this he stopped singing and walked off. 

I was next on a London Underground train which was full with passengers. A young teenage girl shouted out, "Anybody want a burger?"  She had a massive bag full of hot burgers and started handing them around. Everyone was very pleased. 

I took one and I opened the bap up to inspect its contents and found that every item within it was wrapped in cling film. I looked up and saw everyone biting into their burgers, I shouted out, "Don't eat them, she has put cling film in them!"  

With this everyone started to throw their burgers at the female and got off of the train. The girl gave me a death stare and I walked off the train smiling at happy with what I had done. 

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