Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Cheap Jacks

I was with my mum and older sister and we were looking for my nan. My nan has not been with us now for many years but she was a huge influence on my life. We were at the local shops Close to where my mum still lives  

When I was younger and still living at home, there was a shop that sold everything, it had tones of stuff outside on the pavement, locally it was known as Cheap Jacks but was called something else that I can't remember. To everyone, it was Cheap Jacks, if you ever needed something, they had it cheaper than anyone else. 

It was dark and all the shops were closed, above the door to Cheap Jacks was a door bell but it was about 15 feet off the floor. I cupped my hands and gave my sister a leg up, she pushed the button to ring the doorbell and the button fell off. 

As she climbed down the door was opened by a small child who then ran off. We all entered and noticed a room to the right full of playing happy children. A man came out and informed us that my nan had passed away. 

We wasn't surprised or upset because we knew she wasn't with us anymore. We walked upstairs and opened a door. There sat in the room was both my nan and grandad. 

They were both happy and smiling and waved at us. It wasn't until we went back downstairs that we realised that everyone in the house had passed away. They were all happy and so we left content ourselves. 

 

Monday, 26 January 2015

A little respect

Last night I was in the town of Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire and I was a police officer. Some local officers were chasing a car full of lads but had lost them. 

I didn't know the area at all and so got lost, standing in a street next to my car, I saw a couple of the lads come out of a house. I grabbed them and informed them I'd be searching their house. 

Inside the house there were about six lads and the place was a typical teenage mess. I sat them all in one room while I searched a bedroom. 

As I half heartedly went through cupboards and draws, I heard the song, 'A little respect ', the 1988 hit from Erasure. I started to sing it out loud and stopped what I was doing. 

I went back into the other room still singing and everyone had run off. 

 

Saturday, 24 January 2015

Paperwork & haircuts

An odd mix of things from last night, starting with me being in my mums house. My dad had just died and was laying on the sofa. My dad has been gone for nearly 12 years now. 

He was very peaceful looking and I wasn't upset as I knew he was already no longer with us. 
Also in the room was a man filling out paperwork in relation to my dad. 

He asked me dads full name and date of birth, I started giving them and when it came to the question of his place of birth, my dad said, "London mate."

Next I could feel something rubbing my head, I initially thought it was one of my animals but it felt like a human hand. 

I then realised I was actually dreaming and the hand rubbing over my head was my own. As I rubbed my hand over my head, huge clumps of hair fell away as if I was clipping it with a cutter. 

My hand was acting like hair trimmers and I removed all my hair until I was bald.  

  

Friday, 23 January 2015

Ravensbourne

Last night I returned to my place of birth in Essex, it was my nan's house where I spent a lot of my childhood. I was walking around outside in the street and didn't realise where I was initially. 

It was slightly dark and with the light fading, I noticed a road sign. Reading it, I instantly smiled to see 'Ravensbourne Cresent'. 

After this I just walked around happy and content, knowing I was safe with a feeling that all was good with the World and nothing could bad could happen to me. 

 

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Undercover shoppers

I was on the Embankment in London, somewhere close to Westminster it looked like. For some reason I was trying to lift a shopping trolley over the wall I to the river, it was jam packed full of various items and was far to heavy for me to lift. 

As I struggled with this, two Eastern European men were sat on the wall watching me. I shouted at them to help me but they just smiled and continued to watch me. I decided climbing into the trolley and jumping up and down would help me. 

After doing this for a while the two men interjected and told me they were in fact Metropolitan Poliçe Officers and were working under cover and posing as Eastern European men. Armed with this information, I decided it best to just walk away. 

 

  

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Floater

I spent the night in a kind of suspended floating state.  Couldn't see or hear anything, I was aware of my surroundings, that of my bedroom, but nothing else. 

It wasn't exactly floating in the air or on water, just a kind of half way state between the two. Every now and again I'd wake up and check the time and realise I still had hours left before I needed to get up. 

Happy with my time left in bed, after each time check, I'd go back to my suspended condition. 
I have woken rather refreshed today too. 

 

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Disciplinary

I was sat in an old work place of over 15 years ago and all the bosses and staff were gathered around a table. I was sat on another table which faced the large table containing everyone else. The room was in total silence and everyone was looking at me. 

I knew I was there for a disciplinary hearing but we were waiting for someone else to attend, I don't know who this was. In the corner of the room was my fridge from my house now and one of the secretaries commented on how nice it was. 

The waiting went on and on and still no one arrived. Suddenly the bosses assistant shouted out, "We'll miss you!"  I guess the hearing wasn't going to be a faverable outcome then! 

  

Monday, 19 January 2015

Cats, dogs & pigs

Firstly I was walking my dog in the streets surrounding my mums house, he was on his lead, which he normally isn't because he never runs off. On another lead was one of my cats called Bear. 

On a third lead one of the guniea pigs called Monkey, Monkey and Bear were becoming tangled as they walked and my Dog Humbug, walked straight. 

Bringing up the rear, not on a lead was my other guniea pig, Boris. He never wandered off and kept up with the pack. 

Lastly I walked into a co op store hoping to cash a cheque. The guy at the checkout was very unsure and called the manager. The manager was my friend and work colleauge, Gary Potter. 

Gary, up until recently was a manager in a co op store. He appeared from behind some boxes and winked at me. The guy on the checkout couldn't see Gary despite him being in front of him. 

Gary then let out a massive fart and put his hand over his mouth like a naughty school boy. The checkout guy looked at me in disgust and said, "Sorry sir I can't help you". 

 

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Sticky man

I entered a house and met a man walking out and we bumped shoulders, he looked at me and shook his head and continued leaving. From the hallway within the house I saw a room to my left with the door slightly open. 

I pushed the door open and saw a male and female sat on the floor against a wall. The female was sat in the lap of the male. As I approached them, the female rolled over and laid on the floor. I then saw that the man was naked but there was something odd about him. 

His arms and legs were stuck together with a sticky gooey mess. As he tried to lift his arms, lumps of flesh ripped from his body. He stood up and the same happened with his legs. I noticed that his armpit hair was long and down to his waist. 

He also had so much pubic hair that it covered most of his lower body and legs. He had a pained expression on his face and as he tried to move, more lumps of flesh ripped from his body. 
I just looked at him and watched as gooey flesh dripped onto the floor. 

The man then stood with his back to a full length mirror and bent over forwards, he cranked his head around and looked at the reflection of his butt in the mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight. 

  

Saturday, 17 January 2015

House party

A very alarming start to the night, I woke up choking in a smoke filled room and thought the house was on fire. All I did was annoy the dog because I woke him in my panic. It was not real. 

Back to sleep and I was having a house party at a new flat, my mum was helping me move in. The only down side to the party was I'd neglected to invite anyone. 

This was resolved as my mum knocked on the neighbours door, who as luck would have it, was also having a house party and the guests all spilled into my flat. 

I then saw Pipi from work who said he was my new neighbour and began waving his arms around in my living room, there was no music playing and he was displaying his best dad dancing. 

I went into the kitchen and realised I'd lost my mobile phone, I then caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and saw I had a very long beard. 

This alarmed me greatly and I set about cutting it off with scissors. As a result of this, I ended up cutting my face and I was dripping blood. 

 

Friday, 16 January 2015

Chest pains

Sound asleep after my last night shifz and my brain is absolutely dormant, due to a combination of sleep deprivation over the week and slipping into coma upon making contact with the pillow. 
I suddenly started to get an extreme crushing sensation on my chest. 

A momentary panic thinking I was having a clutcher passed quickly when I saw my dog jumping on me, a face wash from him, confirming I am not ready to depart the world just yet. 

  
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