Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Pathe news

I started off by being at my Nan's old house, a place were I spent many happy years. I was very happy and content in the dream, sat around me were a group of old ladies, none of which I knew. 
One elderly woman was chatting about how lovely it was to live in the countryside and that it was a great way of life. 

I noticed my grandfathers old leather armchair, it was empty and I looked at it with fond memories of the great man. I then took our mini cordless vacuum cleaner and hoovered out all the crumbs from it. 

I next saw my older sister come into the room, she was holding a hair dryer. She placed it down on a table and said, "When I used this, the neighbours security light came on!" I advised her not to use it and laughed to myself that I had wired it to do that. 

Lastly I was in the street and watching as a house was having all of its iron fencing and gates taken down. A voice over man was explaining what was going on. He was the voice of the Pathe news reader from the old films that were shown in cinemas. 

He explained that in order to help the war effort, the iron was being used to build tanks. I was very confused as it modern day and the person who's house it was, was going to be very annoyed. I watched for ages as the fencing was ripped up and put onto a lorry. 

I then found myself in a very small kitchen that had beer pumps instead of taps on the sink, a teenage boy was dancing naked around the room in front of me. It was rather unpleasant as I couldn't get past him to leave. 


Monday, 15 September 2014

Diving school

I began by being sent back to school, I was five years old again and was going to have to begin my schooling all over again. But despite being a five year old, my mind was that of an adult. I thought to myself that I was really going to be a bright kid. 

I entered a huge hall and found it to be a swimming pool with Olympic size diving boards. Everything slowed down into slow motion and I took a run up to dive into the water, just as I reached the waters edge, I turned back into my full adult size. 

I jumped stretching out my arms before me only to discover that I didn't have any. Still in slow motion I hung in the air over the pool waiting to hit the water with a thud. Instead of actually making contact with the water, I just hung in mid air with no arms. 

I then watched as my arms began to grow out from my shoulders until they were fully extended and the correct length, on my hands were a pair of black leather gloves, identical to the ones I had on in the previous nights dream. 

As I pondered the black gloves, just hanging there above the pool, I suddendly dropped and splashed into the water. I was then looking out into my garden which was flooded and at least three feet deep. My dog came running towards me as if stepping on the water and entered the house. 

From my open bedroom window I woke to the sound of rain outside. 


Sunday, 14 September 2014

Rescue mission

Last night I had plotted to rescue four children from their abusive parents. They had confided in me that their mother and father had been mentally and sexually abusing them for years. I hatched an elaborate plan to remove them from this situation. 

Along with the help of my wife, I'd hidden myself on a shop roof top with a set of binoculars and waited for the school bus to arrive. I shouted down to my wife that all four children had got off the bus and were walking the short distance to their house. 

In a detailed manovoure, we swooped on the children and bundled them into a car and head off into the night. When I drove past the parents house I switched the headlights off the car and sat watching the window of the living room. 

I could see the parents worried, looking out for their children. When they left the window I drove off into to the night. The journey took hours and all the children fell asleep. On the car radio was the 1972 song, 'It never rains in Southern California' by Albert Hammond'. 
I'm still singing this song now. 


Saturday, 13 September 2014

The age of steam

Following on from the previous nights Victorian dream, last night I was watching a steam powered ship sailing. It was in a narrow canal, in fact the ship was far too big and wasn't able to turn around or fit through a lock. 

As the vessel approached the gates to a lock, I stood watching and wondering how it would get by it. This was simple, a giant pair of scissors emerged from the front of the ship and cut the lock in half as if it was paper. 

Lastly I was in a very warm country and had bought a plot of land. I was standing surveying my land when I saw in the distance it had a swimming pool. I excitedly ran towards it and as I reached the waters edge, I saw my wife and her friend Lorraine about to swim. 

They both looked at me and laughed, I couldn't work out why until I noticed that I was wearing swimming shorts and black leather gloves. 



Friday, 12 September 2014

Victorian wonder

Hard to explain what I saw in my sleep last night, but here goes. 
I was at the foot of a huge modern skyscraper and was in need of getting to its summit. I don't know why but I just needed to be on top of the massive structure. 

On the side of the building was some kind of cradle which was connected to a system of cogs and a long metal pole which climbed the outside of the structure. Inside the cradle was a woman dressed in a Victorian style long dress. 

Under the cradle was two peddles simular to that on a bicycle, I turned them with my hands and a tune began like that on a music box. The cradle then began to wind upwards on the pole towards the sky. The Victorian woman waved her hand in royal spender as if addressing her subjects to cheers and gasps. 

I then realised that by standing at the bottom turning the peddles, I was denying myself getting to the top. I stopped turning them and everything abruptly ended. Including my dream. I woke somewhat disappointed.   


Thursday, 11 September 2014

Web execution

I was hosting some kind of web conference with a live feed from the room I was in. With me in the room were three men who I had previously tied to chairs. I couldn't see who was on the other end of the chat but knew someone was seeing me. 

One by one I pointed a pistol at the head of the three men and pulled the trigger, executing them. As I shot dead the last one I said, "This is what I do to terrorists". I then calmly switched off the camera and walked out of the room. 

I was next in a very dirty alleyway off of a city street. It was a dead end and piled up at the bottom of it were old cars, fridges and other rubbish. Happily playing amoungst the rubbish were two small boys, sitting close by to them was my wife who had one of her shoes stuck under a car tyre. 

I approached them but no one could see me and I observed without being noticed. Underneath one of the old cars a hundred tiny eyes watched, on closer inspection I could see they were mice. On top of the same car was a metal tray that contained massive flies sitting on eggs. 

I then looked along the alley towards the street and saw an old man and woman with a brown golden retriever. They had come into the alley and the old man started to thrash the dog with his walking stick, he then handed it to the woman who did the same. 

I ran towards them totally enraged just as they started to leave. The old man was just about to hit the poor dog again and I grabbed his walking stick before he could bring it down. I put my face against his and shouted, "I'm going to do the same to you, you old bastard!"

I grabbed the stick from his hand and he cowered before me, I raised the stick high above my head ready to beat the man for what he had done. I woke up before I struck him! 



Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Steven the frozen Lobster

I was on a beach which was deserted apart from two people I could see prodding at something on the sand. It was alive and crawling and I went over to investigate. When I got there the two people walked away and laying on the sand was a lobster. 

The lobster despite the warm sunny day, was frozen, covered in ice and shivering. I picked it up and it shuddered with cold and said, "Stevvvvven". "Oh you're called Steven are you, let's get you warmed up". I said. I then was in a room, I wrapped Steven in a brown blanket and placed him into a draw of a filing cabinet to defrost. 

Next I was the very large home of one of my neighbours. I was all alone and very lost in the vast complex of rooms, all of which seemed to link together. There were steps up into other rooms and the house just went on forever. 

I opened one door into a cellar and two miniature Bengal Tigers ran out, they were the size of hamsters. I tried to follow but lost sight of them as I entered an outside courtyard. In the yard was Countryfile's farmer and presenter, Adam Henson. Adam came over to me and hugged me as if he knew me. 

Finally I was going to work on a building site as a labourer. I arrived at the site to find it empty with just one person sat on a forklift truck. I saw that it was my work supervisor Adam, very oddly Adam had his hair back combed up towards the top of his head. He then had barbed wire around this with the top of his hair in a loose perm  

I said to Adam that it was only me here to work and he sat with his head in his hands sighing. I couldn't help but just stare at his hair, it looked as if he had a laurel around it but made of babed wire. 


Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Killing spree

I had been on a killing spree leaving dozens of people dead in my wake. It wasn't clear what my method of slaying my unfortunate victims was, but I could just see lifeless bodies before me. I also seemed fairly content with my work. 

I was then confronted by Nick, one of my bosses from work. He very seriously told me that he was aware of what I had done. I was expecting to be in trouble and was surprised when Nick told me to go home and remove anything from my house that would incriminate me. 

He told me of all the items which the police would be taking and advised me to dispose of them. Not believing my luck I hastily headed for home. As I ran I could the song, 'Just the way you are' a hit for Billy Joel in 1977. 


Monday, 8 September 2014


Today  my wife has her MOT on her car and I was planning on going with her. Last night I dreampt that's what we were doing. I was in a corner shop watching children stealing sweets when work colleague Normski came in. 

He told me my wife was outside waiting for me to follow her in my car to the MOT testing station. I looked outside and saw her little purple car driving off. I jumped into my car and followed her. I lost sight of her briefly and thought that maybe she had gone home. 

I drove towards our house and saw a small purple coloured car outside of it. I got out and walked towards the house only to see that the car was a different make and not my wife's. I then started to panic that she was waiting for me and I was late. 

I then suddenly switched from being outside my house to the inside of my mums house. I had entered via the front door and saw Stu from work standing on the bottom stair. I told him I had to get out of this dream and back to going to see my wife at the MOT testing station. 

Stu looked at my blankly and I told him that in order to get me out of the dream, he needed to punch me in the face. Stu seemed reluctant but I kept on insisting he hit me. In the end Stu clenched his fist and punched me full in the face knocking me out. 

Unfortunately instead of sending me back to see my wife, I woke up. My wife was asleep next to me in bed, so I guess it kind of worked. 


Sunday, 7 September 2014

Taser & deodorant

I was mostly at work last night and my wife's supervisor Ben had given me a taser gun, which I knew I shouldn't have but took it hoping to use it on someone. I headed off down a long corridor to go outside and try out my new toy. 

As I walked the corridor I saw ahead of me dozens of men and women in suits. They had guns protruding from their jackets and I instantly knew they were secret service or MI5 or simular. In the middle of these very serious looking people was work colleague Faz. He was wearing jeans and a T shirt. 

As I walked past him I pinched his bottom and wolf whistled. Faz totally ignored me and pretended I wasn't there. I carried on walking disappointed by this. 
I was next back upstairs in the office where Ben was and Sarah was sat at her desk eating a bowl of cereal. 

I pulled out a can of deodorant and sprayed her in the face with it. She started choking asking me why I'd done that. I laughed and walked away, then remembered I still had the taser. I then dismissed using it on Sarah and left the office with her still coughing. 

Lastly I was in my mums living room and I'd received a brown boxed package. I carefully opened it and it contained brown coloured Doctir Martin boots. I removed all the packing and then realised I needed black boots for work. I tried to re package them but they just wouldn't fit back in the box. 


Saturday, 6 September 2014

Driving lesson

I was a driving instructor and my pupil was my good friend Matt. He was very nervous but apart from that was doing very well. 

Matt looked in his rear view mirror and noticed my work supervisor Mike running behind the car. Upon seeing this Matt accelerated and started driving as if he was getting away from someone who was going to kill him. 

After miles of high speed driving, skids, twists and turns, Matt pulled up the hand break and checked his mirror again. Mike had gone. 

I then looked over at Matt who had a bowl of soapy water on his lap and had his hands in the water. He pulled out an i phone and began washing it. 

I laughed at him telling him that his phone would be ruined. I stopped laughing when I saw it was my phone. 


Friday, 5 September 2014


I was chatting away to people, not sure who they were, they all seemed very attentive to my words. As I rambled on I noticed that their eyes had become wider and their glance had moved slightly to my right. 

I continued talking but glanced over and saw that my right arm was laying on the floor. Without interrupting my speech, I bent down and picked up my arm with my still connected left one and attempted to pop it back in its socket. 

It appeared to stay in place and as I chatted on I again noticed my audiences attention to my right once again. I looked over and once again my arm was on the floor! 

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