Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Dead man

I had approached a car and immediately noticed it was a left hand drive, thus I made the assumption that I was in America or the occupants were American. Either way, some Americans were somehow involved, my assumptions being correct when I saw the people sat in the front. In my mind they looked American. 

The male, at the steering wheel was slumped with his head forwards, he looked drained of colour and I decided that he was dead. The female in the passenger seat however looked as if she was sleeping. 
As I got closer to the passenger window, the female did indeed wake up. 

She looked over at her husband and hugged him looking rather sad. I asked if he was ok and she told me he had died and she was waiting for an undertaker to arrive. I asked how long she had waiting and was informed it had been four days. She spoke in an American accent. 

With this the woman fell back to sleep still hugging her deceased husband. 


Monday, 27 July 2015

You ugly!

I was in some kind of holiday complex, it was all under cover and so not affected by the weather. I seemed to be wandering around on my own. A small boy kicked a football at me and I returned it with a tap of my toe. 

I had a little exchange with him of kicking it around for a while and then I got bored and walked away. The boy upset by this started to cry, this didn't affect me in the slightest and I left the boy in floods of tears. 

I then noticed an extreamly ugly looking man who was walking towards me, my first thought was, boy this guy is ugly which he seemed to pick up on and made a move towards me. I started wondering if I'd said that out loud. 

The guy swooped past me smiling a toothless grin, I thought he'd gone but when I looked behind me, he was still hovering around me, grinning at me. He was starting to annoy me, I kept walking and he just seemed to be all around me, everywhere I looked. 
I woke up before anything else happened. 


Sunday, 26 July 2015

High tech drain clearance

A brief episode last night, I was sat in the cage of a crane with my neighbour John. The cage was on the end of a series of extendable sections that would raise into the air and John was at the controls. As we raised up into the air, John hit a button and the cage became independent from the crane. 

Worried at our sudden departure from the crane I looked over the side of the cage to see that we were being propelled by jets connected under our seats. John was making it hoover above the houses. 
He then pushed a lever that released a long hose that shot high powered air through it. 

He manovoured the cage do that he was able to clear the guttering and drains around houses. I was very impressed. I was even more impressed when we landed and John took he into his house for tea and biscuits. 


Saturday, 25 July 2015

Granny law breaker

I was firstly attempting to place a plastic cover over an old Nokia mobile phone. This was made all the more difficult as I was in a clothes shop changing room trying on trousers. 

I was trying to put the cover on the phone one handed whilst pulling up a pair of trousers. I was struggling. 

As I continued to attempt the seemingly impossible, I noticed a woman causing problems in the shop, shouting at a member of staff. 

I went over without any trousers on and immediately without any warning, smashed the woman onto the floor knocking her unconscious. 

As I was preoccupied with this, a very old lady ran out of the shop with her arms loaded with clothes. She jumped into a postmans van and drove off. Everyone looked on in disbelief.  


Friday, 24 July 2015

Free bacon

I was working as a doorman in a city centre establishment. It was the early hours of the morning and I was cold and tired. As it started to get light a big fight broke out nearby but I chose to ignore it, I looked over after it had finished and saw that two traffic bollards had been flattened as a result of the fracas. 

Then my dad approached me saying he was going to the cafe for a cooked breakfast, I abandoned my post and followed him into the cafe. He sat at a long table with lots of other workmen and started tucking into a fried breakfast. I joined the queue to buy something, I decided before reaching the front, I'd have a bacon sandwich. 

Ahead of me being served was a woman who just wouldn't take her food and go, instead talking to the person serving and holding everyone up. The person serving was Billy from work and he looked very annoyingly at the woman, who eventually left after Bilły shouted at her, "Will you just go!"

I put my hand in my pockets to pay for my sandwich but Billy insisted that he would pay and that I should go and sit down. I thanked him and went to look for my dad. When I got to the table, my dad just stood up and walked out without speaking to me. 

Lastly I was in a room and saw a man peer around the corner at he and then disappear when I caught sight of him. I ran after him but every turn I took he seemed to be ahead of me and out of my sight. I eventually reached a huge glass window that was about ten feet high. 

The window was smashed and looked down to a street, when I peered down I could see a man's body laying dead below. A female sat on a sofa in the room I was in was crying. She sobbed and told me that he ran straight into the window. Oops. 


Thursday, 23 July 2015

Toffifee and wreaths

I was in a big field that contained both my horses, on the far side of the field, it looked out onto a beech. To either side of it were other fields which were empty. 
The forth side had a road and street on it. 

As I walked towards the horses I noticed people setting up tents and caravans in the field to my right. Annoyingly, they walked across my field to get to theirs. I decided that as the horses didn't seemed bothered by this, I wouldn't make a fuss. 

I left the field to the street and saw a man on a stall, he was selling boxes of Toffifee, those delicious toffee chocolate confectionery. I immediately thought about stealing some and engaged him in conversation in order to distract him. 

The guy on the stall kept calling me Steven for some reason, and when I looked down at my shirt, I had a name badge on with Steven printed on it. I removed it and put it in my pocket. 

I walked away and stood at the top of a car park that looked down towards a road and the beach waiting for the guy to leave the stall unattended. 

As I waited a car pulled up and honked it's horn, a door to a house on the other side of the car park opened and Danger from work ran out in a blind panic. 

He was carrying a huge wreath of flowers and ran towards the car shouting, "Criag wait for me, don't leave without me!"
The guy in the car drove into the car park and Danger must of thought he was leaving as he had a complete meltdown and started crying. 

The guy in the car, Criag I'm assuming, shouted out, "You'd be late for your own funeral ". A very tearful Danger got in the passenger seat and they left. 

I looked over at the stall to see if I was able to get some Toffifee and it had gone! 



Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Pink shirts & centipedes

I was standing in a high street, it was busy and there were many shops. I looked across to the other side of the street and could see a branch of Barclays Bank. I couldn't make out what it was that was glowing a vibrant pink colour in the window and so I crossed the road to investigate. 

As I looked in the window I saw work colleagues Suki and Gav, Suki was sat behide a desk talking to someone and the pink glow I'd seen was his very bright shirt. I pointed at him and laughed, he caught my eye and continued talking, determined to ignore me. Gav, who was sat at a desk next to Suki, looked at me, rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was very unimpressed with Suki's shirt. 

Next I was tucking my Jack Russell Humbug into bed as if he was a human, which to be fair isn't too far fetched anyway. I looked up and saw my neighbour Ann chatting to my work colleagues Matt and Adrian. She was explaining how her husband had created their garden. 

As I left Humbug sleeping I noticed that I had hundreds of legs, each of them had a different pair of shoes on them. I was actually a centipede and started to walk up the wall. I was amazed I was able to coordinate all my legs all at the same time. 

As I was vertical on the wall I stopped and admired my shoes, I tried to walk further up the wall and every pair of shoes fell off my feet into the floor, shortly followed by me with a thud as I hit the floor. 


Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Mind controlled opera

Last night I was in a pub, sat at the bar with my wife and my dads old life long friend, Doyle. There were two male bartenders, the pub wasn't busy but I did notice Emma from work sat at a table on her own. 

Doyle was silent and uncharacteristicly didn't make a fuss when the barman took his drink before he had finished it. Instead he stood up and shuffled out of the bar. 

My wife and I followed Doyle to get him back into the pub but he kept on walking, my wife continued after him and I returned to the bar just as the other barman took our unfinished drinks. 

With this I started throwing glasses at them, smashing the optics and other bottles. Emma jumped up from her seat and joined in. 

Both of the barman raised their hands and intently glared at us. We immediately had no control over over bodies and were being controlled by the barman. They raised their arms higher and both Emma and I lifted off the ground and slid up the wall. 

Opera music began playing and we were being used as mind controlled puppets, singing along to the opera music and acting out the moves. 

I was able to control my eyes and watched in horror as Dave from work entered the bar and one of the barman pulled his nose off with a pair of pilers. 

Dave run around screaming with blood pouring from his face. As Emma and I continued to sing opera, the barman started moving towards us with pilers in their hands. 

I began to panic, my eyes frantically darting as I was about to lose my nose. Thankfully I woke at this point. 


Monday, 20 July 2015

Time hop

I started off by standing in a street watching a peaceful protest of some kind. I had taken a photograph of the protesters and was looking at it. 

I was joined by a work supervisor called Mike and he was telling me a story about when he had been at work and a boss had pushed him out of the way. The story was very boring. 

As I looked at the photo again, I saw that one of the protesters was wearing a balaclava, had full military uniform on and was holding an automatic rifle. 

I tried to point this out to Mike but he kept telling his story. He even started to reenact the movements. I kept trying to interject but he wouldn't shut up. 

I was next in a totally deserted hospital, it was very eerie and I wandered long empty corridors in silence. 

I turned a corner and suddenly the lights all came on, the room filled with people out of thin air and the hospital was full. 

A nurse welcomed me and ushered me into a waiting room. I asked where I was going and she said I was there for my appointment. I told her it was the following day and she informed me it was the next day. 

Somehow in the flash from the deserted hospital, to being full again, I had jumped forward in time by 24 hours. 


Sunday, 19 July 2015


On the rare occasion that I don't recall my dream, I almost forget to post that I didn't! 


Saturday, 18 July 2015

Chinese crumpets & kangaroos

I was in a small shop that seemed to sell most things, along with my wife, we either owned the shop or were working there. We both seemed happy and content with being there. 

A Chinese man entered the shop and in a very heavy accent asked us for something but we couldn't make out what he was saying. After several attempts, it transpired that he was looking for some scones. My wife checked the shelf but we were sold old. 

She grabbed a packet of crumpets, held them up and said, "Scones". The Chinese man was very pleased and we charged him £4.00 for a something he didn't want. I even wished him a nice day as he left the store having been totally ripped off. 

Lastly I was watching a group of kangaroos jumping around, they were massive and looked very clumsy as they hopped about. After a while I realised they were just people dressed in kangaroo suits, which explained their poor hopping display. It didn't explain why however. 

The collective name for a group of kangaroos is a Mob by the way, if you're interested. I don't think there is yet a name for a collection of people dressed as kangaroos. 


Friday, 17 July 2015

Ginger abuse

I was walking up and down a large privet hedge that was immaculately cut square, it was slighy higher than my head, so I'd say it was around six feet high. I was unable to tell what was on the other side of the hedge. 

From out of a nearby house, two schoolboys appeared, I'd estimate them to have been around twelve years old. They approached me at the hedge and I noticed one of the lads had ginger hair. I picked his up and lifted him above my head and hurled him over the hedge. 

I climbed up and peered over the over side and saw the ginger lad had landed onto a metal drain cover. His head had hit it full on and he was poring blood. I looked back at the other boy who was shacking with fear, I said to him, "Don't worry, you're not ginger". 

Lastly I was in a huge workshop that was empty, I'd put the lights on to find that it contained big metal frames that were raised off the ground. On top of the frames were car jacks, all the same, blue and aligned. 

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