Sunday, 20 April 2014

Japanesse President

I began by boarding a bus along with the daughter of my friend Matt. I paid the fare, took my ticket and started to walk to the back of the bus as it moved off. 

I glanced back into the street to see that my 4 year old companion was still standing at the bus stop. I calmly asked the driver to stop and stepped off the bus. 

Upon seeing me, my friends daughters eyes lit up and became twice their normal size. She ran and hugged me and we got back on the bus to a round of applause    from the other passengers. 

Next I was watching as president Obama was in a Japanesse style house. The walls were paper deviding the rooms. A man walked in and the president picked up a huge sword and began waving it above his head. 

He then ran through the house leaping into the paper walls in dramatic fashion. The man calmly followed behind him. 
Trapped in a corner, the president again waved the sword around. 

The man pulled out a pistol from his pocket and shot the president in the stomach. Obama looked down in shock and dropped to the floor. 


Saturday, 19 April 2014

Mental well being

I had an appointment to see a psychologist. I'd arrived at a large open plan room that contained hundreds of people. 

There was a desk in the middle of the room and I approached it and told the receptionist I was there. They informed me the psychologist was running late. 

Whilst waiting I walked around the room eating a raw pepper from a plastic bag of salad. There were beds in the room each of which had an indoor rabbit cage on them. 

Everyone in the room was either talking or shouting, the noise was becoming annoying. I dropped my bag of salad into a rabbit cage and went back to the desk in the centre of the room. 

The psychologist arrived and shook my hand, he said, "We have met before". I didn't recognise him. He then started talking into a microphone. 

I decided to leave and as I headed for the exit, Twelly, from work came in. He was wearing a bright red, cotton track suit which looked like a throwback from the 1980's. 

I stopped to speak with him but he was just standing staring at the room with his mouth wide open. 


Friday, 18 April 2014

Fried eggs and peach slices

I'd visited my Nan's old house to see all my relatives who had gathered there. 
As I walked in, there were two new born babies in prams with my cousin David sat next to them. 

I started to talk to David and realised that he was deaf. He pointed at a girl sat oppersite him who was his new girlfriend. She was also deaf and was using sign language to communicate. 

David congratulated me on becoming a dad, which was news to me! My uncle then arrived and said he had joined the police despite being in his 70's. 

I walked into the kitchen and found it to be my mums kitchen in her house. Standing at the hob was Lefty from work, he was cooking breakfast. 
He was frying four eggs in a pan, topped with peach slices. 
He just looked up at me and grinned as if to say, you're not getting any. 


Thursday, 17 April 2014

Batten down the hatches

Only a short dream from last night which involved me being in my childhood bedroom. 

I was laying in bed, the room was dark and I could hear it becoming breezy outside. The windows started to rattle and then the ceiling began to make a creeking sound. 

I looked up and the whole ceiling and roof started to lift away from the house. I stared contemplating this for some time and thought the best option would be to tie it down. 

I then left the bedroom and walked directly into the shed in my garden that I have now. I picked up some cable ties from the shelf and returned to the bedroom. 

I then tied down the roof using the small plastic ties. It worked and I went to sleep. Even though I was already asleep dreaming. 


Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Have you seen Matt?

I am convinced that dreaming is partly made up of memories, feelings and an imaginative mind. Sleeping releases them to float around in your mind, grabbing snippets and piecing them together in sometimes bizzare fashion. 

Last night I started off being in my home town but I was with my HR manager from work. She said she was taking me for a coffee. 
We went into what was my local pub on the outside, but inside it was a Starbucks. 

Next I had given my good friend Matt my pet hamster to look after, placing it in a red plastic carry case. 
Walking along the street I found the red case left on the floor. Matt was nowhere to be seen. 

The hamster was still in the case but the top was open. It was still in there but had been attacked by another animal and all the fur on its bottom was missing. 

Next I woke briefly as my wife was getting up for work. I mentioned to her about next doors child crying and his dad shouting and that it's the first time I've heard them. 
This turned out to be a dream, as there is no child living next door to us. 

Lastly I was with Rastafarian man who kept singing a Bob Marley song 'Don't worry, everything's going to be alright', at the top of his voice. 

We went into a packed bar, and I instantly lost him in the crowd. I soon found him again as everyone stood away from the weird man singing his head off. 

I approached the bar and some people hugged and excitedly greeted me. I had no idea who they were. 
I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out my bare bottom hamster. I said, "Have you seen Matt? He is responsible for this!"


Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Just nod if you can hear me

I was in a room along with a large group of people. The mood was jovial and there was a lot of banter and discussions going on. 

I didn't know or recognise anyone in the room but I joined in some conversations. It wasn't until some time that I noticed that no one was actually talking to me directly or replying to me. 

I shouted in an attempt to make myself heard and even began waving my arms in frustration. Still no one engaged with me. I was totally invisible to everyone. 

This reminded me of a song and I started to sing it in my head and woke with it stuck on replay this morning. 

'There is no pain you are receding 
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon 
You are only coming through in waves 
Your lips move 
But I can't hear what you're saying'

Pink Floyd comfortably numb 1982


Monday, 14 April 2014

Columbo and the one armed president

I was on the phone making a doctors appointment.
I was told I would be seeing Doctor Watson at 15.30 the next day. I knew I would be at work at that time but didn't care. 

Next I was watching as actor Peter Falk playing Columbo, sat at a table with American president, Obama. 
The president was talking about a female he had met that morning. 

He held up his arm showing his had was missing. When asked what happened to it, Obama stated that the woman had cut it off. 
Columbo them started taking photos of the president as he continued to speak. 


Sunday, 13 April 2014

Flip flops and cannabis

I was with Kyle from work and we were in an unknown street. Kyle had thrown a cricket ball which had hit an old Asian lady on the head. 
Kyle attempted to run after the lady to apologise, but as he was wearing flip flops, he kept falling over. 

The woman ran into a house and into her back garden. We climbed her fence to get into her garden but as we got on top of the fence, we appeared to be on top of a large fish tank. Kyle, again due to his poor choice of footwear, fell in. 

I was next in a dark alley in London, I was with a group of people I didn't know. I was throwing a tennis ball up against the wall and everyone was taking turns in catching it. 

My dad entered the alley and started passing a large cigarette around. Judging by the reaction of everyone that smoked it, it was a cannabis joint. 

I told my dad we needed to leave and he said he was teaching someone to drive and they could give us a ride. Several stoned people piled into a car with a big L shaped cone on the roof. 

An extremely nervous female learner driver then proceeded to crash into lamposts and run up curbs as her passengers shouted and giggled loudly. 

Just as the female smashed into a shop, Ryan from work walked up to the car. He popped his head in the window and told us there was a party at his house. We all left the female crying in the car. 


Saturday, 12 April 2014

Celebrity rabbit hutch

My entire dream took place in my mums back garden. Where I appeared to be sleeping rough dressed as a tramp. My bed of choice was a rabbit hutch. 

As you can imagine, it was a little on the cosy side and when I needed the toilet I stood up and walked the hutch into the house to use the bathroom as I couldn't get out. 

After carefully negotiating the hutch through the kitchen I reached the bathroom door. I kicked open the door and found Petr from work sat totally naked on the toilet! 

I swore at Petr for being on the pan when I needed to go and went back into the garden. As I got there, limos were pulling up to arrive at a party. 

Cameras flashed to catch the entire cast from the TV series, Lost, followed by actor Ray Winstone. He was followed by veteran broadcaster, David Attenborough in a crumpled white suit. 

David approached me, put his hand through the rabbit hutch and shook my hand. He asked me where the toilet was and I told him about Petr being in there. David just said, "For F**k sake, he doesn't even live here!"


Friday, 11 April 2014

Ice cream baked beans

I began my nights dreaming in a hotel. I was staying there and was standing in the shower. I was fully dressed and had the quilt wrapped around me. The shower was on and I was soaking wet. 

I decided to go to breakfast but spent ages walking around the hotel looking for the dining hall. 
Eventually I found it and a woman was serving hot food. 

I had bacon, sausage, baked beans and ice cream. It seemed a good idea and it was free. I then saw that you had to sit at the table number that corresponded with your room number. 

I'd forgotten my room number so I walked off to find it with my plate of food in hand. I wandered for ages unable to locate my room and ended up on a building site. 

Lastly I needed the toilet and found a men's rest room but it had no cubicles, just a toilet in the middle of the room. As I was alone I decided to use it. 

As soon as I dropped my trousers and sat down, the door opened and loads of other men entered. Feeling very self conscious I tried to abort my mission but upon inspection I had forgotten to drop my boxer shorts and had filled them!


Thursday, 10 April 2014

Cannonball run 2014

I began by being in a church, polishing a cabinet whilst playing rock music very loudly. 
I woman entered the church and put some change into the collection box. She tutted at me and left. 

Next I was at a dog show with my wife and our dog Humbug. We met Jen, one of our neighbours and both her and my wife were excitedly discussing the smart entry system on their cars. 

As we waited to enter our boy, a posh looking woman lifted a cover off from her prize winning poodle. 
The poodle was in prestine condition and it's fur was cut like a topiary hedge. We decided to leave. 

Lastly I was film legend, Bert Reynolds and I was trying to find a female partner to join me in a Cannonball car race. 
I went to see Cybil Shepard but she hid in a chest freezer to avoid me. 

I found Lorriane from work in the street, she was oddly just in jeans and a bra. I convinced her to go on the race with me. She reluctantly agreed and was very upset when I told her we were using her car. 


Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Death by fruit

I'm having lots of hand related dreams at the moment. This is due to a condition known as Carpal Tunnel, the pain and tingling often manifests into my slumber. 

Last night whilst holding my hands out in front of my face, I watched giant sized strawberries and equally massive, plums, rolling down a hill towards me. 

With the realisation that I would be squashed if I didn't take avasive action, I seemed transfixed on my hands. 
I woke from my fruit related fate, to find I was holding my hands in front of my face. 

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