Wednesday, 30 July 2014


Kept waking up just as I was about to punch people in the face. I jumped out of my dream state, every time I was about the make contact. 
I was being confronted with annoying people who I just wanted to hit. They appeared in front of me and I attempted to punch them but each time I tried, I woke up. 

No complaints of assault from my wife this morning and she certainly looks unharmed, so I'm guessing I wasn't acting out the dream in my sleep.  


Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Face up

Many years ago I worked in a supermarket stacking shelves. For someone with OCD, the job of 'facing up', is a very therapeutic task. Getting all the products aligned with labels facing front and perfectly straight is calming and fullfilling. 

Last night my dream consisted of exactly that, what seemed like hours of facing up products in a supermarket to background music supplied by David Bowie. The song was 'Sound and Vision, a hit back in 1977. 

I awake today fully refreshed with a sense of well being with the urge to organise my food cupboard. 


Monday, 28 July 2014


I was in a large room that contained a massive drum shaped machine. Standing next to it was Lee-Ann who told me it was a giant coffee maker. She opened up the lid and got a large tub of coffee beans to pour into it. 

I stopped her from doing it as I could see fluff in the drum, I got a vacuum cleaner and sucked out all the fluff whilst Lee-Ann held the beans. When I'd finished she threw them into the drum and shouted "Beans!"

I was next in a furniture showroom with my mum, we were looking for my older sister. We couldn't find her so my mum asked if I wanted a game of cards and we'd play a game called 29. She was about to explain the rules when Harry arrived. 

Harry had no shirt on and was very drunk. He fell on the floor and laid his head on my phone. My mum dealt him some cards and he started snoring. My sister arrived and was worried someone was going to steal her car. 

Lastly I was in a hotel room in bed and hiding under the covers. I heard someone enter the room and pretended to be asleep. They approached me and pulled back the cover. 
I could see it was actor Nicolas Ball. He saw it was me, tutted and left the room. 


Sunday, 27 July 2014

Fur coat

I had decided to walk to the shops, I had grabbed my wife's dressing gown and was heading along the street. The dressing gown however was a full length fur coat and was attracting a few onlookers.

When I reached the shops, they were all open but totally empty, even the staff were missing. I wandered around them for a while then decided I required the toilet. 
I next found myself in a public toilet. 

As I looked for somewhere to urinate, a teenage lad was wandering around in his underpants shouting. He was demanding that someone gave him a lift to the railway station. A black woman was cleaning the toilets but ignoring the lad. 

The lad started to shout at me and was saying how stupid my fur coat looked, I decided to ignore him too. I started to use one of the urinals and when I looked down, the woman was cleaning it. I immediately was unable to wee and tried to turn away from her. 

Every time I turned the woman moved so that she could watch me urinate. It was very unnerving and the lad was still prancing around in his underpants shouting for a lift. The whole scene was very uncomfortable. 
It was at this point that I woke up with pins and needles in both hands.   


Saturday, 26 July 2014

Merry Christmas!

Last night I was a policeman and I was driving a car when I saw a white van approach a juntion on my left. The van was going fast and didn't stop, it cut across me causing me to slam by brakes on. The van carried on and the driver didn't see me. 

I spun around and saw the van pull up on the left and the driver walk into a house. I ran after him and knocked on the glass front door. I could see the driver on the other side, along with several other people. 

I was invited in and could clearly see the van driver was drunk. He didn't speak English and so I asked the others to interpret for me. The man fell over and I managed to put a tube in his mouth to breathalyse him, it read 160. 

I then tried to arrest the man but an old woman started punching me and a young lad produced a knife. There were lots of kids running around crying too, the scene was chaotic and becoming dangerous. I shouted on my police radio, "Get me some help here now!"
The reply over the radio was, 'Merry Christmas!"


Friday, 25 July 2014

Canabis thief

I was at work and one of my supervisors called Stu, he had a young lad in a room because he had found canabis on him. They both sat at a table whilst Stu filled in some paperwork to record the drugs. 

I entered the room and picked up a plastic bag that contained the green herbal substance. The lad looked remorseful and Stu continued to write, ignoring me. I opened the bag and poured its contents into another bag but spilt a lot of it on the table. 

I scooped up the canabis from the table and checking that Stu wasn't watching, I popped the drugs into my pocket. In my mind I had every intention to smoke it later. I left the remainder of the canabis on the table and left the room. 

As I walked away I heard a knocking, I opened a door and found Phil who had arrived for work. I chatted with him as we walked, telling him that it had been a very quiet night. We entered another room and bumped into Leanne. I told her that I had dreamt about her the other night and she was happy that she was in one of my dreams. 

I then saw the former presenter of the TV show, 'Magpie'. Her name I couldn't remember but I have since looked her up and she is Jenny Hanley. 
Jenny told me that she had been phoned at 3 pm to come into work and that she had no idea what she was doing. She was wearing a knitted jumper that she was using as a dress as it went past her knees. 


Thursday, 24 July 2014

Groundhog corridor

I spent my dream in one location, it was a narrow corridor no wider than a door. I'd attended the home of friends Judy and Trevor, on their doorstep was a large blue plastic container. I kicked it and it had liquid in it. 

I opened their front door and saw another closed door at the end of the corridor. It was about forty feet long and had no other doors or windows along its length. As fast as my legs would carry me I ran towards the other door. 

When I was just about to reach it I heard loud snoring coming from the other side of the door. I turned in panic and ran all the way back to the outside, closing the entrance door as I did so. I again kicked the blue plastic container and repeated the process. 

I must have ran up and down that corridor for hours in a Groundhog Day style, each time the process was exactly the same and never deviated in any way. 


Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Classical house & frozen car

I could hear very loud classical music being played. It was a bright sunny day and I was outside in the countryside. I walked across a grass field, heading towards the music. As it got louder, I turned a corner and was confronted with huge stone steps up to a massive stately home. 

The music was coming from the house beyond the steps and I sat half way up the steps to listen. I remained there with my eyes closed, soaking up the sounds and sun. It was very pleasant. 

I was next in a car park, it was dark and late at night. It was in contrast to the stately home setting, ice cold and everyone was wearing fur trimmed hooded coats. 
I could see my car and it stood out from the rest as it was the only one not covered in ice. 

My wife appeared and told me that we had to disguise the car so that it blended in with the others. She then started to rub her hands over the car which as she did this, stared to freeze up. It spread from her hands and quickly covered the entire car. 



Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Who's Eric Morcambe?

I used to live in the Lincolnshire seaside town of Skegness and often dream of being there. Last night I had returned to collect some belongings from my family. I was with two other people but I didn't know them. 

I walked them through the streets until we reached a house that I said was my family home. It wasn't and I'd randomly picked a house I liked the look of. I opened a door by pretending I had the keys but went through the motion of turning them in the lock. There was a second door which I did the same again, both times the doors opened. 

We entered into a living room to find a family sat around a table, all of them looked shocked at three strangers walking into their house. I said, "This is my family, hi everyone, I've come for my things". They all looked even more confused. The mother of the family then suddenly started to go along with it and hugged me and said, " Your things are still in your room". 

I was next at work and had gone to help out in the department run by supervisor Pat. I knew that someone needed help and that I was the only one available trained to use the equipment needed. 
Pat asked who had told me to come down and help and I informed him that I volunteered. 

Pat was very stroppy about this and told me to leave and get the correct authority to do the procedure. Angry at this I told him, " Stop being a dick, you know what, stuff you, find someone else to do it!"

Lastly I was at a big house that had an indoor swimming pool, I walked in hoping to have a private swim but was confronted with hundreds of school children having lessons. I headed over to one of the instructors who was wearing black rimmed glasses. I told him he looked like Eric Morecambe. 

The guy laughed but then said that everyone was too young to remember who Eric Morecambe was. I shouted out, "Who knows Eric Morecambe?"  Everyone put their hands up. 


Monday, 21 July 2014

Hammer time

Last night I was running with a very full washing up bowl of oil. I was in my Nan's old house where I was born. 

In my mind I needed to pour the bowl down a sink and then turn the hot tap on to break up the oil. I ran into the back room where I was actually born in. 

The only thing in the room was an old style wooden unit that had a lift up lid. When I pulled up the lid, it revealed a sink but I couldn't see a tap. 

I pulled at a handle and it turned into a record player, an old vinyl 78rmp dropped down and began to play. 
I dropped the bowl of oil on the floor and started to do my best MC Hammer dance to Hammer time. Even though the music was classical. 

Just before I woke up I was in the garden with my dog. He was chasing something around the garden and had it cornered. 
When I looked it was a baby pig the size of a field mouse. 


Sunday, 20 July 2014

CCTV, pants & scams

My night began in a street, no idea where but I was there with my wife our good friend Fi. Fi asked me to put up a CCTV camera on the wall of a building, I climbed a very rickety old ladder which she held whilst I fixed the camera. 

I next heard a phone ringing as I lay asleep, It was coming from my wife's side of the bed. I know it was a dream because we don't have a phone in the bedroom. I reached over and answered it. A voice said, "This is the adult learning centre you have an appointment on Wednesday". I then heard a group of people in the street outside my house, they were all talking in German. 

Next I was with Stu from work who was showing me a pair of men's underpants that he had received in the post. He held them up, they were black and very large. He was shouting, "Why have I been sent these?"

I was next in some kind of narrow passageway, it was difficult to get past if another person walked by. As I walked along I saw Naomi from work, she appeared to be dressed in a workman's overall. 
As I tried to manovoure around her, she grabbed me around the neck and pushed me up against the wall. 

Right in my face she aggressively said, "You got me involved in that insurance scam and you better sort it out". I had no idea what she was talking about but she clearly meant business. 

Lastly I was at work, it was night time and I was alone out in one of the works cars. I decided to drive as fast as I could in and out of parked cars. Driving as close as I could, I floored it without hitting anything. 

Proud of my driving skills I pulled up the handbrake and the car skidded around 180 degrees and the back end smashed into a wall. I sat contemplating for a minutes before deciding I just not tell anyone and someone else would get the blame. 


Saturday, 19 July 2014

Coffin dodger

I started off by entering a garden shed that turned out to be a church on the inside. I approached the altar I could see an open coffin that was an odd shape but defiantly a coffin because I could see the dead body of one of my neighbours in it.  (I won't name them for fear of freaking them out). 

As I sadly walked towards the coffin my wife suddenly ran past me, nudging me as she rushed towards the altar. As she reached the coffin, she didn't slow down and gave it a hard shove, shooting across the room. 

Lastly I was waiting to board a coach but was waiting for my wife to arrive. I watched as the three coaches that were parked, slowly filled with passengers. As the last coach closed its doors and drove away, my wife finally arrived. 

I explained that we were too late and would have to get the train instead. We did this and it was so packed that it was nose to nose with no room to move. It was hot and very uncomfortable. 
I could hear a voice that I recognised but was unable to tuen my head to confirm who it was. 

I finally managed to strain my head a little and saw Spooner from work sat in a chair with nobody even remotely close to him!

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